Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Things I've Learned

Howdy. I'm here today to pass along a little advice on things I've learned from my therapist, and from my editor. (Or in the editing process.) So if you are a writer, or a human, (or both,) maybe something I say can help you.

1. Be kind. Going through life being an ass is probably easier, but it doesn't pay off. I think we need to love more and hate less.

2. Focus on yourself. -worry less about what others think. I have learned the hard way that I can't control other people's emotions or reactions. *Not that I was trying to "control" anything. But sometimes, no matter what you do, someone is always going to treat you poorly or hurt you or hate you. I've tried to be a good person, a good mom, a good writer, and a good Christian, but someone will always think I've fallen short of being anything good. So, what do you do with that? You work on yourself.

I'm trying to just LOVE ME. I'm trying to realize MY strengths, MY talents, MY positive influences no matter what other people say about me. This is not easy, especially for an author. We are surrounded by criticism all the time! Bad reviews hurt because they cause doubt. I doubt. I doubt myself all the time. What I need to is SIMPLY WRITE because writing is what I love and what I am passionate about. I have to trust that my stories WILL make a difference in the world, no matter what people say to the contrary. I have to take a stand on what I believe in, even if people hate me for it.

3. Put forth your BEST effort! (Editorially speaking, but it translates into most things.) The very hardest edits I ever received, even worse than a rejection letter, was on a book I did NOT give my best to edit. I wrote it and hastily submitted it. Yes, it was accepted, but it was not an easy thing to get edits that tore me up emotionally. With the next book, I TOOK GREAT CARE in editing the manuscript before submission and my life is SOOO MUCH smoother because of it. This type of care should be given to everything in life. Do your best no matter what you are doing.

Personally, I'm trying to balance a LOT of things. I am trying to be the best mother I could be, the best author I can be, and the best wife I can be. Sometimes, one aspect gets more attention than another, but I really AM trying to do it all.

My advice to people is to put forth the best effort you can in all things.

4. Let go of bitterness and anger. THIS is something I haven't been able to do yet, but I'm trying. Bitterness and anger has a habit of swirling around the subconscious and festering. Take my word for it. Bitterness can take over your life and steal your joy.

I'm on a quest to spread love and encourage people. I challenge you all to do the same! Pick a few people off your Facebook friends list and post an encouraging pic like this:

(*sent to my sweet Kayla)

It may surprise you how often those posts are sent at JUST THE RIGHT TIME when the person needed a smile.

5. Writers write! Novels don't really write themselves. Sometimes the story flow so easily it feels like it writes itself, but it doesn't. It takes typing, and editing, and proofreading to make a story come to life where others can read it. There are MANY authors who write a book, publish it, and then they are sort of done. Maybe they ran out of stories, maybe they thought the one was all they had to say, but I think the authors who have stories in their veins, write more than one novel. Prove to the naysayers around you YOU ARE an author. Go Write! You can't just say you are writing a novel. You need to back up the claim. I've been on a hiatus as my doubts have grown so big I don't know how to get rid of them. But the cure for doubt is succeeding. I WILL WRITE THE NEXT BOOK! I AM AN AUTHOR! Writing is what I do. Writing is what I love.

That's all for now! I need to go edit!

hugs and kisses



  1. Thanks for doing what you love so I can do what I love!

  2. If you haven't already figured it out, I'm a big Supernatural fangirl. Their Always Keep Fighting campaign about raising awareness about depression, suicide, and self-harm has as one of its slogans--complete with t-shirt--Love Yourself First. Not always easy to do, but worth the struggle.

  3. Great post! I really appreciate all the things that you share. It's such useful information. *hugs*

    1. Thank you Mika! Sometimes I wonder if anyone even cares what I talk about :) Thank you for reading. I'll try to think of more things to say.