Depressed?

Yeah, I think I’m depressed. I feel really blah. I’ve lost focus. I can’t seem to write anything that sounds coherent. Everything sounds dumb when I type it. I haven’t had anything interesting to say to people out there, hence why the lack of blogging. I just don’t know what to talk about.

The MS for My Roommate’s a Jock is in the queue for editing. I guess that is good to know. Although when I read a time “window” of 4-6 or up to 12 weeks etc for this editing process I get more depressed. 12 weeks? Are you kidding me? Ahhhhhh. I just sometimes hate that I like to write so much. This “talent” or “desire” is not easy. I like easy. I like “handed to me on a silver platter”. Good golly this is work! Not that I am giving it up, I’m not, I’m just griping. I have a hard time waiting for anything. I was thinking it would be “soon” for a couple of my books to get published. My Roommate’s a Jock by December and The Cost of Loving by October. Well… My Roommate’s a Jock may still be this year, I have not gotten word about that either way. I can still hope. I HOPE that there is little to edit and that whatever corrections they need to make will be minimal. HOPE HOPE HOPE! But The Cost of Loving is just making me  more depressed as time goes on. I know I’m beating a dead horse in saying this—I just want it done!!! My editor said last week we will talk THIS week. Still nothing. I hate waiting. Plus, the longer she has the MS does that mean I owe more per hour of her time???? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not made of money and self-publishing takes stuff up front. Grrr. (Griping again, not looking for any “solutions”.)

What I seriously NEED to write is another book like My Roommate’s a Jock. What I mean by that is something that is a sure thing. I’m not so blind as to assume My Roommate is THAT GREAT as to take the world by storm, but what I think is that it has more of those “acceptable” elements that readers look for, like and embrace. But somehow my brain doesn’t like to follow subscribed methods of success. So I struggle. And struggle.

So, question….. Point of View: Do you as readers, LIKE or DISLIKE shifts in POV? I do not mean POV shifts like in When Love is Not Enough. I KNOW that was difficult to follow and I am trying to stay away from books and chapters like that. What I mean is do you like seeing into the other character too? I WISH The Cost of Loving was published because it is formatted like I am questioning. (Mostly Matt’s POV, but on occasion it is in Darian’s) … My newest one Names Can Never Hurt Me is so far all in one POV. I am wondering if it would be acceptable to write some of it through the other character and give perspective on his side. Do readers like that? I don’t know.

I’m also feeling like I write too much sex. (Sorry for those who enjoy reading lots of it.) It just seems to take up lots of pages and I’m not sure it is needed. So, maybe this one will have less. I don’t know. This is me talking out of depression and blahness and not knowing what to write. I’m just confused in reference to my direction and how to make money enough to cover costs of self-publishing the books no publisher wants. Because if I write it, I’m GOING to publish it! (Probably.) Especially a book like The Cost of Loving that readers are waiting for.

This “struggle” with publishing sequels is partially why I haven’t written the sequel to My Roommate’s a Jock yet. If I write it, and My Roommate is NOT successful at all, then I have yet another book that no one wants. So, I’m waiting. I’m taking notes when I think of scenes and dialogue. My brain often goes into “Cole Reid” mode and I cannot stop writing him. It’s weird. Like Darian, Cole is hard for me to shake.

So, don’t give up on me. I may not be around AS MUCH, but I am still here. I’m trying to sort out my stories in my head and WRITE them!

Until next time….

Xoxox

Wade

Side note: My blog (on Blogspot) has 1573 page views and 29 followers.

Twitter (https://twitter.com/WriterWadeKelly) has 12 followers.