On merriam-webster.com it says:
ha-rass
verb : to annoy or bother (someone) in a constant or repeated way
: to make repeated attacks against (an enemy)
transitive verb
1
2
: to worry and impede by repeated raids <harassed the enemy>
Harass-er: noun
Harass-ment: noun
Whereas BULLY is a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.
I think I feel bullied or harassed. I think so. I shouldn't think while I am in the shower because these are the things I come up with. I start pondering what the definition is and what it means to be harassed. And then I think about people who ARE harassed and think it must feel way worse than me.
We all know there was a "person" who stirred up trouble for me back in August. It was my fault. I trusted someone with my heart and she trampled it. But whatever, things happen for a reason. I get the impression that the trampling hasn't really ended. Several e-mails, a post on Facebook, and telling me I should talk to the pastor wasn't enough. Now, there is a possibility she is stirring up rumors and pressuring the pastor. Pressuring him to do what? I don't know. To "do something about it" maybe. And is it HER continuing to stir the pot or is it someone else whom I'm not aware of. Maybe someone she "gossiped" to about me. (Hmm, wait, isn't gossip a sin? could be.)
All I know is that I am tired of sitting quietly. I'm trying to be fair and kind and let it blow over. I've talked to the pastor…. SEVERAL TIMES! If "said person" is not happy with that and continues to stir up trouble, what am I to do? (Talking out loud here.) Many people when pursued by someone and made to feel trapped and cornered could take this as being harassed. If someone is bad-mouthing you, even if their talk is based on truth, isn't it harassment when they create an unpleasant and hostile situation?
But it is also believed "Christians shouldn't / wouldn't do that." Um, yes, I believe they can and do. Christians also don't go around suing others for slander and harassment. Do they? And why don't they? Because I'm supposed to take it and turn the other cheek. I'm supposed to let God take vengeance. You know what? That ain't that easy to do.
Another phrase that comes to mind is: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I wonder where that came from? I AM A WOMAN. I also feel betrayed when the very first thing someone learned about me, in the process of becoming my friend, she didn't like or agree with and she attacks. Yes, I did feel initially that I respected her for coming to me with her disagreement. I did. Years ago there wasn't confrontation because the disgruntled party didn't have the balls to talk to my face. This person did. I respect that. What I don't respect is the murmuring about people approaching the leadership of the church about me. Who are THESE people? Same person? If it is, I have lost all respect for that. If it is the same person then she has nothing better to do than try and make my life, (and the pastor's for that matter) harder.
Why would you do that?
I just want to live my life. If you are a Christian, and you believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, then let the Holy Spirit convict me and other people of our sins. Stop meddling in my business. And yes, I write to YOU Miss Person, because I have this feeling you are monitoring what I do and say. I'm glad MY LIFE means tat much to you that you feel compiled to watch every little bit. But at least you are watching me and maybe some of the people out there who could be harassed aren't because you are watching me instead. Good.
Guess what, I am a public figure. I have been. I'm an author and my life is under the microscope for all who wish to watch it as closely as you. Think about that. Would YOU like being watched like this? Actors, artists, writers, musicians, all have their art in the public eye. Their hearts are literally on their sleeves for everyone and anyone to crush because most artists I know make their art from there hearts. My heart is laid bear for all to step on. I took a chance at trusting you would be kind to my heart and care for it, but you didn't. You lashed out the first chance you got.
I will continue to write from my heart. My stories are full of words and emotions that pour from my soul. If you hate my soul so much for my vision of trying to bring peace and hope to the world, then you are a sad person. I'm sorry that you can not love enough to see people as people. You lost my respect, but perhaps you gained my pity. You poor thing.
As far as harassment goes, I do feel pitted in a corner. I second guess people's motives when they talk to me. I wonder if they are being nice because they are my friends or being nice as they try to feel out whether I am still "writing that sinful stuff."
Oh my gosh people. I AM A WRITER!!!!!! I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS. No one believes me. Writers constantly write, even if it is only in their heads. YES, I am still writing!!! My characters don't go away. Am I still writing gay characters? YES!!! Until people are no longer bullied for their sexuality, I will be writing them. And maybe even longer than that. I don't know. I write life as I see it. End. Of. Story. Am I still writing SEX into the stories because it was the SEX that really got me in trouble….. YES. So far, yes. Because I write life as I see it and my stories are character driven. If it seems relevant then I will write sex. Will it always be explicit? I don't know. I go with my feelings on the topics and the characters in the story. If you don't like it, then don't read it!
Okay, question for my readers….. How many times have I addressed the same things in my blogs? Lots? Um, probably. I think that is a good indication that I feel harassed. I am being bullied to conform whether I want to or not. At what point do I find a lawyer? At what point does the harassment turn ugly? I don't like confrontation, but I also don't like the persistent rumors about people talking behind my back who are SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS. Obviously you are not.
I am getting tired of this. I am. I really really am.
There is a shirt that says beware of authors because they get their revenge in print. Maybe I need to write a murder mystery. Or a horror novel. Or a sci-fi monster story that has someone eaten or dismembered. I could get out me unpleasant thoughts that way. Writing horror. Yeah, maybe!
WHat I actually plan to do is try and be myself AUTHENTICALLY. I am ME. Some people will not like me. I have to accept that. Some people will not like what I write. I accept that. Below is a sign a friend of mine sent me. I like it! I am a Dreamer! I will continue to dream and perhaps one day others will start seeing the world differently because of me.
We all know there was a "person" who stirred up trouble for me back in August. It was my fault. I trusted someone with my heart and she trampled it. But whatever, things happen for a reason. I get the impression that the trampling hasn't really ended. Several e-mails, a post on Facebook, and telling me I should talk to the pastor wasn't enough. Now, there is a possibility she is stirring up rumors and pressuring the pastor. Pressuring him to do what? I don't know. To "do something about it" maybe. And is it HER continuing to stir the pot or is it someone else whom I'm not aware of. Maybe someone she "gossiped" to about me. (Hmm, wait, isn't gossip a sin? could be.)
All I know is that I am tired of sitting quietly. I'm trying to be fair and kind and let it blow over. I've talked to the pastor…. SEVERAL TIMES! If "said person" is not happy with that and continues to stir up trouble, what am I to do? (Talking out loud here.) Many people when pursued by someone and made to feel trapped and cornered could take this as being harassed. If someone is bad-mouthing you, even if their talk is based on truth, isn't it harassment when they create an unpleasant and hostile situation?
But it is also believed "Christians shouldn't / wouldn't do that." Um, yes, I believe they can and do. Christians also don't go around suing others for slander and harassment. Do they? And why don't they? Because I'm supposed to take it and turn the other cheek. I'm supposed to let God take vengeance. You know what? That ain't that easy to do.
Another phrase that comes to mind is: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I wonder where that came from? I AM A WOMAN. I also feel betrayed when the very first thing someone learned about me, in the process of becoming my friend, she didn't like or agree with and she attacks. Yes, I did feel initially that I respected her for coming to me with her disagreement. I did. Years ago there wasn't confrontation because the disgruntled party didn't have the balls to talk to my face. This person did. I respect that. What I don't respect is the murmuring about people approaching the leadership of the church about me. Who are THESE people? Same person? If it is, I have lost all respect for that. If it is the same person then she has nothing better to do than try and make my life, (and the pastor's for that matter) harder.
Why would you do that?
I just want to live my life. If you are a Christian, and you believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, then let the Holy Spirit convict me and other people of our sins. Stop meddling in my business. And yes, I write to YOU Miss Person, because I have this feeling you are monitoring what I do and say. I'm glad MY LIFE means tat much to you that you feel compiled to watch every little bit. But at least you are watching me and maybe some of the people out there who could be harassed aren't because you are watching me instead. Good.
Guess what, I am a public figure. I have been. I'm an author and my life is under the microscope for all who wish to watch it as closely as you. Think about that. Would YOU like being watched like this? Actors, artists, writers, musicians, all have their art in the public eye. Their hearts are literally on their sleeves for everyone and anyone to crush because most artists I know make their art from there hearts. My heart is laid bear for all to step on. I took a chance at trusting you would be kind to my heart and care for it, but you didn't. You lashed out the first chance you got.
I will continue to write from my heart. My stories are full of words and emotions that pour from my soul. If you hate my soul so much for my vision of trying to bring peace and hope to the world, then you are a sad person. I'm sorry that you can not love enough to see people as people. You lost my respect, but perhaps you gained my pity. You poor thing.
As far as harassment goes, I do feel pitted in a corner. I second guess people's motives when they talk to me. I wonder if they are being nice because they are my friends or being nice as they try to feel out whether I am still "writing that sinful stuff."
Oh my gosh people. I AM A WRITER!!!!!! I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS. No one believes me. Writers constantly write, even if it is only in their heads. YES, I am still writing!!! My characters don't go away. Am I still writing gay characters? YES!!! Until people are no longer bullied for their sexuality, I will be writing them. And maybe even longer than that. I don't know. I write life as I see it. End. Of. Story. Am I still writing SEX into the stories because it was the SEX that really got me in trouble….. YES. So far, yes. Because I write life as I see it and my stories are character driven. If it seems relevant then I will write sex. Will it always be explicit? I don't know. I go with my feelings on the topics and the characters in the story. If you don't like it, then don't read it!
Okay, question for my readers….. How many times have I addressed the same things in my blogs? Lots? Um, probably. I think that is a good indication that I feel harassed. I am being bullied to conform whether I want to or not. At what point do I find a lawyer? At what point does the harassment turn ugly? I don't like confrontation, but I also don't like the persistent rumors about people talking behind my back who are SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS. Obviously you are not.
I am getting tired of this. I am. I really really am.
There is a shirt that says beware of authors because they get their revenge in print. Maybe I need to write a murder mystery. Or a horror novel. Or a sci-fi monster story that has someone eaten or dismembered. I could get out me unpleasant thoughts that way. Writing horror. Yeah, maybe!
WHat I actually plan to do is try and be myself AUTHENTICALLY. I am ME. Some people will not like me. I have to accept that. Some people will not like what I write. I accept that. Below is a sign a friend of mine sent me. I like it! I am a Dreamer! I will continue to dream and perhaps one day others will start seeing the world differently because of me.
