Sunday, December 28, 2014

Harassment

Do you know what the definition of harassment is?



On merriam-webster.com it says:

ha-rass
verb : to annoy or bother (someone) in a constant or repeated way
: to make repeated attacks against (an enemy)

transitive verb
1
a  :  exhaustfatigue
(1)  :  to annoy persistently (2)  :  to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 
2
:  to worry and impede by repeated raids <harassed the enemy>

Harass-er: noun
Harass-ment: noun

Whereas BULLY is a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.



I think I feel bullied or harassed. I think so. I shouldn't think while I am in the shower because these are the things I come up with. I start pondering what the definition is and what it means to be harassed. And then I think about people who ARE harassed and think it must feel way worse than me.

We all know there was a "person" who stirred up trouble for me back in August. It was my fault. I trusted someone with my heart and she trampled it. But whatever, things happen for a reason. I get the impression that the trampling hasn't really ended. Several e-mails, a post on Facebook, and telling me I should talk to the pastor wasn't enough. Now, there is a possibility she is stirring up rumors and pressuring the pastor. Pressuring him to do what? I don't know. To "do something about it" maybe. And is it HER continuing to stir the pot or is it someone else whom I'm not aware of. Maybe someone she "gossiped" to about me. (Hmm, wait, isn't gossip a sin? could be.)

All I know is that I am tired of sitting quietly. I'm trying to be fair and kind and let it blow over. I've talked to the pastor…. SEVERAL TIMES! If "said person" is not happy with that and continues to stir up trouble, what am I to do? (Talking out loud here.) Many people when pursued by someone and made to feel trapped and cornered could take this as being harassed. If someone is bad-mouthing you, even if their talk is based on truth, isn't it harassment when they create an unpleasant and hostile situation?

But it is also believed "Christians shouldn't / wouldn't do that." Um, yes, I believe they can and do. Christians also don't go around suing others for slander and harassment. Do they? And why don't they? Because I'm supposed to take it and turn the other cheek. I'm supposed to let God take vengeance. You know what? That ain't that easy to do.

Another phrase that comes to mind is: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I wonder where that came from? I AM A WOMAN. I also feel betrayed when the very first thing someone learned about me, in the process of becoming my friend, she didn't like or agree with and she attacks. Yes, I did feel initially that I respected her for coming to me with her disagreement. I did. Years ago there wasn't confrontation because the disgruntled party didn't have the balls to talk to my face. This person did. I respect that. What I don't respect is the murmuring about people approaching the leadership of the church about me. Who are THESE people? Same person? If it is, I have lost all respect for that. If it is the same person then she has nothing better to do than try and make my life, (and the pastor's for that matter) harder.

Why would you do that?



I just want to live my life. If you are a Christian, and you believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, then let the Holy Spirit convict me and other people of our sins. Stop meddling in my business. And yes, I write to YOU Miss Person, because I have this feeling you are monitoring what I do and say. I'm glad MY LIFE means tat much to you that you feel compiled to watch every little bit. But at least you are watching me and maybe some of the people out there who could be harassed aren't because you are watching me instead. Good.

Guess what, I am a public figure. I have been. I'm an author and my life is under the microscope for all who wish to watch it as closely as you. Think about that. Would YOU like being watched like this? Actors, artists, writers, musicians, all have their art in the public eye. Their hearts are literally on their sleeves for everyone and anyone to crush because most artists I know make their art from there hearts. My heart is laid bear for all to step on. I took a chance at trusting you would be kind to my heart and care for it, but you didn't. You lashed out the first chance you got.

I will continue to write from my heart. My stories are full of words and emotions that pour from my soul. If you hate my soul so much for my vision of trying to bring peace and hope to the world, then you are a sad person. I'm sorry that you can not love enough to see people as people. You lost my respect, but perhaps you gained my pity. You poor thing.

As far as harassment goes, I do feel pitted in a corner. I second guess people's motives when they talk to me. I wonder if they are being nice because they are my friends or being nice as they try to feel out whether I am still "writing that sinful stuff."

Oh my gosh people. I AM A WRITER!!!!!! I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS. No one believes me. Writers constantly write, even if it is only in their heads. YES, I am still writing!!! My characters don't go away. Am I still writing gay characters? YES!!! Until people are no longer bullied for their sexuality, I will be writing them. And maybe even longer than that. I don't know. I write life as I see it. End. Of. Story. Am I still writing SEX into the stories because it was the SEX that really got me in trouble….. YES. So far, yes. Because I write life as I see it and my stories are character driven. If it seems relevant then I will write sex. Will it always be explicit? I don't know. I go with my feelings on the topics and the characters in the story. If you don't like it, then don't read it!

Okay, question for my readers….. How many times have I addressed the same things in my blogs? Lots? Um, probably. I think that is a good indication that I feel harassed. I am being bullied to conform whether I want to or not. At what point do I find a lawyer? At what point does the harassment turn ugly? I don't like confrontation, but I also don't like the persistent rumors about people talking behind my back who are SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS. Obviously you are not.

I am getting tired of this. I am. I really really am.

There is a shirt that says beware of authors because they get their revenge in print. Maybe I need to write a murder mystery. Or a horror novel. Or a sci-fi monster story that has someone eaten or dismembered. I could get out me unpleasant thoughts that way. Writing horror. Yeah, maybe!

WHat I actually plan to do is try and be myself AUTHENTICALLY. I am ME. Some people will not like me. I have to accept that. Some people will not like what I write. I accept that. Below is a sign a friend of mine sent me. I like it! I am a Dreamer! I will continue to dream and perhaps one day others will start seeing the world differently because of me.


9 comments:

  1. Good for you, Wade! Enough it's enough.

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  2. Your supporters are behind you 100% with tackle hugs for good measure. You are strong and we will help you remain strong in the face of adversity. Hugs and kittens!

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  3. You can't control what others do or say, you can only control how YOU react. She is caught up in herself and her desire for attention. Try and ignore it, live your life the best you can and be happy!

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  4. ((Hugs)) Wade. I wonder if a 'cease and desist' letter would be enough to shut her up.

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    1. I was thinking about this as well.... wonder how the laws are there. Best to look it up. If the tongue of the spirit can't stop her, maybe the piece of paper from the law will?

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  5. It's possible that it is time to talk to a lawyer, not only about the harassment, but also about the fact that this person is basically stalking you. Not to mention, she's trying to ruin your reputation on top of the rest. Please Wade, take this to the next step, because it seems as if just talking to her is not helping and I don't think just a letter is going to make her stop, when talking to her hasn't made her stop, if anything, shes gotten worse

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  6. It's possible that it is time to talk to a lawyer, not only about the harassment, but also about the fact that this person is basically stalking you. Not to mention, she's trying to ruin your reputation on top of the rest. Please Wade, take this to the next step, because it seems as if just talking to her is not helping and I don't think just a letter is going to make her stop, when talking to her hasn't made her stop, if anything, shes gotten worse

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  7. This may sound funny but I have been watching Stalker, that new series now on holiday hiatus. This individual seems a bit stalkerish and I see others are of the same opinion. Take it to a lawyer and the police. Have it recorded that you are experiencing the bully and harrassment. Even if the authorities do not take action, the point is made: you reported the incident(s) and it is on public record. Also, a good idea would be to ask for a restraining order on her.... again if not acted on, at least it is on record. The record makes a lot of difference and makes people aware of what is going on from an legal and objective POV rather than just a religious stand. There are laws for this, use them. As a public figure, you can use them to your advantage and peace of mind.... Love you Ms Wade, keep the writing, keep the loving !

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  8. Thank you all for your comments and encouragement :)

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