Hey. I've been MIA lately, but it is only because I have nothing going on worth talking about. I haven't written much lately. I was on this awesome kick for the New year and I wrote 22 days in January almost in a row, but then it stopped. I got burned out or something and the muse went away. IDK. Whatever it was it made all thoughts leave. And when I say all I mean all. I was having difficulty thinking about anything. Last week I had a headache for days. I think I was dehydrated. I need to drink more water, but I'm not in the habit of doing that.
Plus it's cold. I am tired of the cold. Matt Boston always posts about snow predictions and weather forecasts and I'm like, "NOOOOO!!!" It is a good thing I don't live in Boston. I don't want more snow. For one thing, school shuts down. For those who do not read my website, I have three children. When schools out that means I have three children in my house asking for food all day long, or bickering, or generally making noise. Like yesterday. I don't function well when my routine is messed up. I feel like it has been up-ended for a few weeks now. In the midst of the up-ending, I lost my voice. (Not literally, I'm using it metaphorically.) My characters went silent in my head.
I don't like when they go silent. It's like losing a friend (or several). I tried rewriting a story to stir them up, but I'm still not inspired. Last week I took Misplaced Affection and switched it all around. It wasn't chronological before so I tried simplifying it. I moved scenes and now it flows in chronological order. AND I am considering making it YA because it seems geared more to a younger crowd. I don't know. Any thoughts on that? Would you read it without the sexual content I normally have? And if it is YA, should I have a pen name just for YA like Andrew Grey has Geoff Laughton, or JP Barnaby has Jamie Mayfield? I thought I could write YA as Darian Weston. Although, I've never written YA so I would have to read the guidelines and make sure it is what I think it is.
At the moment I am reading YA. I picked up The Descending Darkness by Michael Chulsky when my mind was at its emptiest. I needed to do something other than write, so reading seemed logical. So far it is very good. I haven't read this type of book in a long while. It is more fantasy/paranormal with an X-men quality and I have typically only read M/M for a long time. I used to read fantasy all the time. I was fond of Elves and Dwarves and such forever. Fantasy was my genre of choice. But then I read a sci-fi novel with gay characters called Shadows of the Mind by Mark Alders and it opened up a whole new world. I could read sci-fi (Or fantasy) and have an M/M factor in it. WOW!!! I never knew. I can actually remember a time when I had never read a romance novel because I liked sic-fi so much that I didn't think anything in romance could compare. But in 1999 I picked up a book in a Borders Books and Music that was "romance" yet contained science fiction and world hopping. WHAT??? Yes, that was me being shocked. I had never heard of such a thing. So in 1999 I started reading romance and in 2008 I found GAY romance and sci-fi combined. Worlds were opening before me.
I started writing seriously in 2006. In that year I wrote (basically) a sci-fi/romance trilogy. This trilogy is still Unpublished , but it is also still around. I have my word docs. I have my characters intact. One day I will unleash them on the world. What I lack is time. I wish I had loads of time to sit and write continually and do nothing else. Who needs a shower? Who needs sleep? I want to write all the stories I have inside my head. But alas, I never have time. There is always someone who needs something like a meal or laundry or a ride somewhere. This is why things take me forever to finish. I'm a mom. And a wife. There was a time, probably back toward 2006 when I didn't do anything but write. I was consumed by writing and most everything else got put off. Then the pendulum swung the other way and I shoved writing aside to the point of painful realization that I can't do that and remain sane. I HAVE to write. It is in my bones. I fingers cry out to scrawl my words. Right now, I think the pendulum swings relatively in the middle. It does move toward either extreme (Writing ONLY or Neglecting writing all together), but it never reaches the extremes. I teeter in the middle which is good for my sanity and everyone's happiness. Because when I'm not writing, I feel it. I think I was depressed last week because I wasn't writing anything. I've had no voices telling me what to write and the silence is very sad and empty. I don't like it.
So I was reading a little. I need to read more. I like The Descending Darkness so want to find out what happens and then write a review for you all to read. I love Michael Chulsky so I want everyone else to read his work and love him too. He and Nick are great guys! I met them last year at GRL.
So yeah, where was I? I started off this month so well and then my mind went blank. Thankfully I wrote something yesterday. Only like 850 words, but after a week of silence that is a good thing. And even now I hear Corey's voice. I am writing a different book. Well, I HAVE been writing two books at once. Mostly Misplaced Affection, but every now and then I scribble down words for Only Skin Deep. OSD is the sequel to Name Can Never Hurt Me which is coming out later this year. I feel a deep need to write the next part. Corey's voice is strong and I have to write about him. Book 1 was only a taste. Book 1 in what I'd like to call the "Self Esteem" series, is about Nick Jones. I hope you like it. I really really do. I miss it. I think that's why I can't write. I miss Nick too much. It's been months since I submitted it to Dreamspinner. It was accepted and it WILL get published this July, but I miss them. I'm probably going to end up reading the manuscript before edits begin. I want to reread it and take notes to better write the second book. And this way my characters will not seem so far away. I miss Nick Jones. It's weird to miss someone who is not real, but I do. And Corey, and Paul, and RC, and even Marcy and the mom and sister…. So many people in NAMES that I enjoyed and haven't read or written in far too long. Please pray they talk to me.
I feel like I've lost my way sometimes. Like writing was just a dream and that I've lost my touch. It makes me sad that I haven't written, but it mass me safer to think I lost a gift. I need to voice to come back strong. Yesterday was a start. It was a glimpse. I know I have it in me somewhere. Come on Corey, speak to me! I need to finish more manuscripts to submit!!!
Anyway… this is what is and is not going on.
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