Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The voices are silent


Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am a fairly emotional person. In fact, I often tell my son I am the most emotional woman he will ever meet and his father snickers, nods, and agrees, "Yes, that's true." I was made this way. I am an emotional roller coaster much like the books I write. Happy, sad, angry, hurt, bitchy, and everywhere in between. I feel a lot, and I normally think a lot. I'm always thinking, often out loud, and it translates over into my writing. But lately, everything has been silent.

Some might say that having silence in your head is a good thing. Not me. I'm used to "the voices" talking, and the story-lines brewing. For a long time now, I've had nothing. Emptiness. I've been doing okay because I am not sleeping until noon and going back to bed by 2. I am keeping up with my family quite well.

My son and I have come to terms on some miscommunications and talked it all out. I THINK we are back on track and I am feeling much better about all that. My moods are often linked to how he and I are getting along. At the moment, things are swell. I have a clean house and happy children, husband is fed, and all the clothes are washed. Life on the domestic end is good. But at the other end of the spectrum, my writer life is quiet, and disheartening.

I need to write. Often it feels like I need to write like I need to breath. I haven't even had ideas for blog posts. I don't know what to talk about. I have virtually nothing going on writing-wise. I am supposed to starts edits soon for NCNHM (or NAMES, or Names Can Never Hurt Me) with the Dreamspinner editorial staff. Hopefully that will kick-start some creativity. IDK. I also hope to get a cover for that one as well so I can promote it with some swag at the couple conventions I am attending soon.

The Rainbow Book Fair is coming up. I am scheduled to read for 4 minutes March 29th. That should be fun. I need to pick a SHORT passage as 4 minutes goes fast!

I am scheduled to do a guest BLOG post for Pants Off Reviews for Rainbow Con. My post is April 1st. I have to think of something to talk about. Rainbow con will be fun. I am going down either tuesday or wednesday of that week.

On Thursday I am scheduled for a Q&A session 5:30-6pm in salon A with Beau Schemery, Jeff Adams, Stephen del mar, and Viktor Alexander. So far I have only met Jeff so I will be meeting new people :D (I like meeting people)

On Friday I am scheduled for an Author signing and reading in salon C @ 2:00. This should be fun. I am not sure how long I am supposed to read for. I'd LIKE to read from Names Can Never Hurt Me, but idk. I think promo might be too far in advance since I don't have a release date yet.

On Saturday I will be on a PANEL discussing "Handling Criticism"in salon B at 5:00pm. Hosted by the wonderful Shira Anthony, I will be talking along side Jordan L. Hawk, Kassa, Sasha L. Miller, and Susan Lee. HAHAHA. I will have to think about what to say about that one! Oh gosh!

And rounding it out on SUNDAY, I will be talking on a panel with Angel Martinez, Cari Z, Rory Ni Coileain. Sui Lynn, with host David Berger,  discussing "Religion and Genre Fiction" in Salon A. That should be interesting. Although, be warned, if "attacked" I cry! Don't make me cry, please.

I will talk about the RT convention in May later on. And of course GRL in October!! Talk about GRL is all over and people are so excited, except that for many of you, I will see you anyway in April!! :D

So……. As for me and HOW you can help me…. People often ask me "How can I pray for you?" (I know lots of religious people.) I often say, "Pray for my words." Why? Because I can see that what I write matters. I get e-mails and comments and reviews from readers telling me how much my book (or books) meant to them. I WANT to make a difference one reader at a time and that only happens if my words come out right. I want them to make sense and I want my words to make an impact. Maybe I put too much pressure on myself and maybe that is why things are silent in my head. Well, PRAY the words start flowing. Se,, I don't want to write just any old thing. I want good stories, meaningful stories. I want deep characters with strong emotional impact whether the readers laughs or cries. I want to make a difference in someone's life. Is that so wrong to aspire to? I hope not. It is what I want more than fame and fortune. (Heaven knows I don't have either of those.)

Recently I got a wonderful e-mail from a man named Max. He said he read JOCK 3-4 times and loved it. Thank you Max. I'm glad you enjoyed my writing. I want to deliver more good stories.

PRAY FOR MY WORDS, PEOPLE.  May they flow freely and say something meaningful to at least one person on the planet. :D

That is all,