Friday, February 22, 2013

World's Most Illiterate Writer is a "Librarian"

I HAD to use that title. It cracks me up. Someone I know called me that. "The World's Most Illiterate Writer"... LOL. LMAO. ROFL, etc... I think I need to create a T-shirt that says that. I'd wear it!

So, anyway, I am officially a "Librarian" on Goodreads. What does that mean? IDK. Now, I guess I can mess with sh** and become a like a gremlin inside the system and screw with numbers and titles and stats. Muahahahaha! I could be the evil minion that adds an exclamation point to the end of every title on Goodreads! (Of course, now, of someone does that, they will automatically blame me.) I am joking, people. What I can do now is "refresh" the stats on my books. This is the only reason I requested the status. I don't know how to be a librarian. I wouldn't know if information on other books is correct or not. I only know my own stuff. I am only interested in correcting and listing and refreshing MY OWN STUFF. So, big brother, don't blame me if exclamation marks appear willy-nilly. I was just giving a silly example.

As far as being illiterate--I totally feel like I am sometimes. I WISH I learned this in high school! I didn't. I was all MATH and SCIENCE. Crap! English is hard! HARD I tell you!! I get really confused on the same sentence structures and I don't seem to learn the correct way to write them. I also use the wrong words. And no matter how many times I ask, I can't remember how to use a whole list of things.

Examples: (Because maybe a reader out there can comment and explain the differences.)

1. Past, and passed. Like, "I walked past the building." or "He passed by me." or "I passed the note."
As I read those, it is all supposed to be "passed" isn't it?

2. Affect vs effect... One reader gave me an example, "Your book 'affected' my psyche resulting in the ill 'effect' of a book hangover." ... but how would it work in this sentence? "I had never thought about how Corey’s presence affected me." Is it used correctly there? 

3. And here is the big one and it is not about words... When the heck do you use the period outside of a quote mark? As in title of blog. I didn't use punctuation on a porpoise. World's most illiterate writer is a "librarian".  OR World's most illiterate writer is a "Librarian." Should that period (or full-stop) be inside the quotes nearly all the time, or ALL THE TIME? 

See, I'm even bad at blogging. All I do is talk to myself and ask the millions of people in the world (25 of which read this blog) how to correct my mistakes. I have the Chicago Manual of Style as a reference, but that thing is honking big. I also own Elements of Style but frankly I forget to pick it up and use it! I am a lazy sob. 

Ok, my list isn't very long. I guess I'm not that bad. Be patient with me. I'm learning. If only I could learn how to sting sentences together into a complex sentence instead of a hundred little short ones! HAHA. That would be an accomplishment. 

So, yeah, I suck. But that isn't news for some of you. 

I am writing regardless of my lack of talent. I have over 40k on Names Can Never Hurt Me. (NCNHM) This will probably be the WIP (Work In Progress) that I finish next because it is easier to write. Love, Trust, And Learning to Live Again is complicated and will take research. I AM WRITING IT!!! I am writing it this year! I hope to publish it, or at the very least submit it for publication this year! My goals are as follows:

1. Write NCNHM. I am about half way done! 

2. Figure out the status of TCOL (The Cost of Loving.) It has two fates. publish with a publisher, OR self-publish. It is under review WITH a publisher now. It is written and pretty much the way I want it. I HOPE to hear something soon. I has been 11 days since I sent it. Once I hear back from them, I WILL tell you all!!! Promise. Pros and cons: 

PRO with a Publisher is that all formats are available upon release. And more exposure. CON- Publication may not be soon, and could be later. (Because you know things take a while sometimes.) AND, I may have to use a different cover. 

PRO with self-pub is that I can get it out there faster. AND, after TCOL is on the market, I will be all ready to follow it up with the release of the third book in the same style. I have that cover, I just need to finish writing it. (And send it to my editor.) CON- it will only be available in Kindle for the first 90 days. I am going to use Create Space on Amazon and there is a contract to sign. After that, I can go with Smashwords or All ROmance eBooks to publish ePub or pdf, or print books etc. Plus, ALL marketing is up to me and I am not great at that. I depend on readers for word-of mouth. :) 

3. Once TCOL and NCNHM are off the table, I am dedicating all my time to finishing Darian's story. Love, Trust, and Learning to Live Again. Book #3 in the Unconditional Love series. This will take thought, and time, as I want it to be really really good! 

After that, who knows? I have a couple ideas in mind to write. Possibly a sequel to "Jock"? I have written a few things down for that. I also have another book in mind about Matt's brother, Steven. (He's in TCOL.) And a book about "gender". I have actually been thinking about the "gender" book idea for a year or more but had no time to write it. It involves twins, and hopefully I can be unpredictable with material that CAN BE predictable. ?? IDK

So, my fine readers, Thoughts? Feelings? Input? Comments? Feel free to express yourselves!



  1. I minored in British and American lit in college and still mess up the same things you mention. I can sit and argue with myself until I just throw my hands up and send it to my co-authors or beta reader. Your blog made me laugh since I can relate. It doesn't matter if you're literate or not. It's just understanding grammar rules that don't make a whole lot of sense. (Well, they didn't until I took Latin.)

  2. :) well that makes my day to know I made you laugh! I like to do that. Often I use inappropriate humor to lighten the mood, or I use it at inappropriate times. ha ha. Latin, argh! I think I have a Latin version of The Cat in The Hat. Good to know English majors also have problems with grammar. It makes me feel better. :) Thanks for commenting!

  3. Great post! I was an English major with a minor in reading. It was my intent to teach in an alternative school environment, but happened instead.
    Yes you made me laugh....:)
    I can remember the "fanboys" when writing, and I have learned not to make sentences too difficult.
    I still make mistakes all the time. I thank all you wonderful authors who pretend not to see them. lol
    Congrats on becoming a "Librarian". Like teachers, authors and just about all artist whether visual, written or music they are always my most favorite of people. *S*

    Pommawolf WWolfweeps

    1. Thank you !!! I'll try to make you laugh more in the future!

  4. OMG...I'm not alone! I always said I was the world's greatest irony, a writer who has no concept of grammar and punctuation. And yes, math and science were my thing too in high school and college.

  5. Hello, I've never posted here before. I thought I'd answer your questions on grammar, etc., since I'm usually pretty good at this stuff.

    Since this would be one hella big post if I tried to answer all three questions at once, I went ahead & split them up into three separate comments, each addressing a specific question. So here we go.

    1. Past & passed. The word "past" usually relates to location within time or space. It can be used as an adjective, adverb, preposition, or noun. (Example of noun: "the distant past") The word "passed" usually relates to MOVEMENT within time or space. It is the past (!) participle of the verb "to pass," so it is always used as a verb. (Please say you know the difference between nouns & verbs.)

    Here are 2 examples:
    "I walked PAST the building." (Here, the word "past" is used as an adverb describing the verb "walked")
    "I PASSED by the building." (Here the word "passed" is the verb.)

    See the difference?

    Therefore, the examples you gave in your blog post were correct! No need to change them.

  6. Hi, me again. Here is an answer to your second grammar concern:

    2. Affect vs. effect. This is a very common source of confusion; don't feel bad about it. Generally speaking, "affect" is used as a verb, and "effect" is used as a noun, so the examples you gave in your post are correct. However, there are some rare instances where the roles are reversed, and I think that may be a big source of the confusion. I'll try to explain.

    The word "effect" can be used as a verb, in this instance: "to EFFECT change." (Definition: "to bring about") The word "effect" as a verb is often used with the word "change," but here is an example where it might not be:

    "I wish to EFFECT a new use for the word 'effect.'"

    You can see where this might cause some confusion.

    The word "affect" is a term used very often in psychology to describe someone's mood or demeanor. It's also pronounced differently than the usual verb. (It's AF-fect, emphasis on the first syllable, with a short vowel "A", as in "hat", rather than the verb af-FECT, emphasis on the 2nd syllable, 1st syllable pronounced "ah" like "hot") An example of this psychological use would be:

    "She displayed a flat AFFECT." (This means that her demeanor/mood was rather dull, emotionless, and well, flat.)

    Clear as mud??

    1. Muddy, yes, but I have a feeling I will refer back to your explanation often. So, Thank you!

  7. Yep, it's me again with an answer (sort of) to your 3rd question. This one is a doozy.

    3. Quotes and punctuation. You asked, "When the heck do you use the period outside of a quote mark?" Short answer: you don't.

    I think a big source of the confusion here is that we do things differently than our buddies "across the pond," so if you read a lot of English lit as well as stuff from this side of the big fishbowl, you'll see it done in different ways. The British method has the writer determine whether the period or comma belong with the quotation or are part of the larger sentence. In the good ol' US of A, the rules are more hard & fast: Put your periods & commas inside the closing quote. Period.

    In fact, the Brits always make the writer place his punctuation marks relative to the context of the quote. The American rules on quotes & punctuation are more hard & fast in general, but they differ from punctuation mark to punctuation mark. Honestly, it's enough to give you a headache. Here's a summing up:

    In this country, we always put our periods and commas inside the closing quote; semicolons & colons always go outside the closing quote; and question marks and exclamation points require that you look at the sentence and make the decision based on the context, just as the British would.

    Clear as mud, no?

    Well, I hope that clears up some of your grammar & usage questions. If I may recommend a great little site that may provide quick answers to many of your questions regarding grammar & usage; it's called Grammar Girl. Google it, it'll come right up. In fact I used this site to clarify in my own mind the rules on quotes & punctuation, because, damn that is confusing. Hope that helps!

    PS: I really enjoyed your book, "When Love is Not Enough." It's not typical of the genre, with a Happy Ever After for Always ending. The main character dies for goodness' sake! That sort of reminded me of the musical "Carousel," where the main character dies in the middle of the play. They changed it for the movie, like you did in the book; so that we know from the outset that the main character is dead. This was done for the same reason as well; you don't want to shock the audience. Nice touch.

    I was particularly fascinated with the character of Jamie's mother, Joan. Just based on the glimpses we get of her, you've painted a reasonable (if incomplete) picture of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Was that your intent? Are we going to see her in the next two books? And are we going to get a bit more insight to her personality? Since the next two books are not really about Jamie, it might not be feasible, but I'm curious.

    Keep up the good work! I hope to see "The Cost of Loving" out soon!

    1. Thanks for taking the time to explain stuff. It IS very confusing, but I think I'll just stick with what you said and put them ALL inside!!

      I also have questions about commas, but I won't list them yet. ;)

      As for as WLINE - thanks! I've never seen Carousel, but I've heard of it. I'm glad you liked the book!!! Joan does return in TCOL. Briefly, but she's there. I didn't think of personality disorder. (I have other things going on with her.) The book isn't ABOUT Jamie, but he WAS a major part in the lives of the people that are left. I hope my continuation of the saga lives up to expectation. Book 3 should be a doozy!

      Thanks again for all your comments! Love it!