Thursday, August 14, 2014

Roller Coaster Week from Hell

This has been the craziest up and down week I think I have ever had. Truly. I mean I normally lead a crazy busy life, but my head is about to explode from all the ups and downs.

Monday I start off with NAMES CAN NEVER HURT ME. My new book! This should be great because it is getting good reviews and people seem to like it. (Which makes me happy.) I've been on several other blog sites including  The Blogger GirlsSmoocher's Voice and today The Novel Approach. (Last week was August 4 - Joyfully Jay, August 7 - Prism Book Alliance ) A new book release gives an author a high right? And then Robin Williams died.

I grew up with Robin Williams. He was in so many movies I can't name them without IMDB. I remember Mork & Mindy from when I was a kid. Dead Poet Society and Good Will Hunting were very powerful films that I will never forget! And then there is the voice of the Genie in Aladdin. My kids watch that. I watch that. And I could mention many more films. It is a sad loss indeed because he made such an impact in the industry for so many years. It wasn't just one movie, it was a lifetime of contributing beautiful acting that moved the soul to laugh and to cry. R.I.P. You will be missed.

Tuesday- I'm riding high again in the morning. NAMES hits #16 on Amazon's Best Seller List for gay romance. That was cool. It has since gone back down to #29, but it could make a surge as people get their copies and read and spread the word. And many reviews have come out. On Goodreads there are 22 ratings, 10 of which are 5 stars. 2 ratings on Amazon that give it 5 stars. I know it will not always get 5 stars, and there are like 6, 3 stars on Goodreads, but I like the 5 stars. Who wouldn't? So far the only down points I've seen are about the length. And I'm okay with that. I'll try to make the sequel a tad shorter. (Of course a tad in space terms is a half a million miles.)

And then I am sitting here and I get an e-mail from A PERSON that rips my heart out and makes me look under the table for people watching me. This person doesn't agree with what I write and told me so, strongly. She goes to my church and this situation brought back all the feelings I had 4 years ago when the pastor showed up at my door and demanded I stop writing. (Basically) It sent me into a fear and paranoia and depression that I never want to revisit, yet this woman's e-mail sent me right there. It took me almost 2 years to start trusting people again. And this has shown me, I still can't. I have to be more cautious. One thing I learned from seeing a counselor in 2010 was that I do not have to share everything with everyone. And I made a mistake here. It is my fault. We hadn't gotten the chance to talk about my vision, my goals, my aspirations. She called me "friend" yet barely knew me. And then she read my book. I don't know which one. maybe JOCK. But it is a love story between men and it contains sex. Therefore it has inappropriate material and somehow I am broken and damaged and need "fixing." Well, I could have told you that anyway, but she was not referring to me in the same manner as I refer to my own faults and brokenness. It hurt. Deeply. Because she doesn't understand WHY I write. She sees black and white from HER perspective and has no clue how deeply I care about people. I don't want another child or younger person to die (Like my friend did last year) because elf bullying and hatred and being told he was an abomination! It sickens me. No one needs to die like that. So I refuse to give in! I gave in before because I was going through an adoption and out of fear I stopped writing and deleted my online persona. FEAR. I was told there was "evidence printed out against me" and out of fear of losing my son I listen to their every word. No more. I will NOT lose my son. My son is proud of me. He tells his friends I am an author. He is happy when I am doing well. I tells me to "get writing mom!" I love that kid! He is a senior this year.

I also took my son out to get soccer cleats and I mention I will have to miss his last game. He said "It's okay." And then he questions, "Is it a home game?" I say Yes. Then he tells me IT IS SENIOR NIGHT! Um, great! I will not be there for senior night? Um, no. I have to be there. Senior night the parents walk out onto the soccer field with their seniors as they honor the departing seniors and stuff. I am to do a poster for him and everything to hang not he fence at the stadium. I can not miss that. I am him mom. My adopted orphan son is NOT going to senior night without his MOM! NO.

So what does this mean? Because if you haven't figured it out, Senior night is October 15th. Chicago. GRL. I can't be there until Thursday. I have the most awesome friend in the world, and Taryn had gotten amazing tickets for us to fly in on Wednesday morning. Relax. Get ready for Thursday. Now I had to cancel. Not how I wanted to go to bed. And NOT the conversation I wanted to have in the morning.

Wednesday- Good reviews. Multitasking Momma. Interview on Smoocher's Voice. But still dealing with the aftermath of that e-mail. (And she e-mail 2 or 3 other times) I posted a thing on Facebook and got 103 comments by that morning. WOW! Shocking. Many of whom quotes scripture at me much like PERSON did, so she really has no clue about the people I know. (Awesome ones like Ijeoma and Lucien who know scripture!) And I am so thankful for all of you encouraging me. Thank you! I also wrote a post about this stress on me (Backlashes) and it got 150 pages views. A record for me. I may think that no one notices me, or that very few people read my post, but you are out there when it counts. Thank you. I will get to all the comments you guys left soon.

Taryn popped a IM to me to see how I was and I asked to call her. I had to mention about the flight. She, being the gracious person she is, rebooked a flight. Initially she said we could leave at 7 am. It was the only flight she saw to Chicago. 7? two hour flight. Get there 9ish? in a taxi by 10 to hotel by 11/12? IDK. I was throwing out the worst case scenario since I've only been to Chicago once and traffic was bad that time. Well what happens on Thursday? Um, the supporting author signing. Probably in the morning like last year. Probably with my luck 10-12 or something which means I would basically miss the whole thing. I was super stressed about that most of the day. I had running to do. Target, post office, bank, food shopping. Made dinner. While making dinner I was messaging people. It was an overwhelming day because I was overwhelmed by all of you! You have been so kind and supportive. Lots of messages, couple e-mails, and IMs etc. Thank you! So while making dinner, Taryn messages and says she found a flight at 6am, landing 6:58am. I ask, "I thought it was a 2 hour flight? How is that one hour?" Chicago is on Central time. OMGosh I gained an hour! Now we can fly in on Thursday mooring and hopefully make it to the hotel by 8:30ish. I can crash for a bit and then be at the signing. I went to bed relieved about that! I may have been stressed about the flight situation half the day, and Taryn fixed everything, but then a fan named Karrie posted FAN ART. OH MY GOSH! You talk about instant tears? Karen, my sweet fan from France, brought me to tears when she asked me to sign a FAN (art-type) book she made for authors at RT. I was bowled over by that. AND CRIED! So when I saw Karrie's post I cried again. I haven't seen "fan art" for ME before. Harry Potter maybe. (LOL) but not little ol' me. Here is what she did for JOCK as a tribute to Cole and Ellis:

Thursday - Um, I am supposed to be heading out for a mini vacation. Most of the family is going to Knoebels Amusement Park, and then tubing or something IDK. My son is staying home because he has soccer practice, and work. Also he can take care of our dogs. I am stressed today, because I am supposed to pay some bills but my husband's deposit isn't until tomorrow. I can't really pay some until it hits. So I am nervous about mailing them. I might have my son mail them tomorrow and I can check the balance on my phone. IDK. More to worry over. And I am also supposed to have Tammy Middleton on my blog for Friend Friday!! I will try to set that up today and hopefully "publish" the post from my phone. I hope that works. The down side is that I normally post it all over and advertise FRIEND FRIDAY. I will need you all to help with that. Or you will be seeing posts Saturday night when I get back.

Today is The Novel Approach. I think I gave them another excerpt. You will have to check it out!

I think I talked long enough. Ciao.

Don't forget the blog tour. MANY posts have excerpts and giveaways.

August 4 - Joyfully Jay
August 7 - Prism Book Alliance
August 11 - The Blogger Girls
August 12 - Rainbow Book Reviews (Review only)
August 13 - Smoocher's Voice
August 14 - The Novel Approach INVOKING AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE! :) that's me!
August 16 - Jeff Adams' Blog
August 17 - FACEBOOK takeover of Dreamspinner's FB page. I will chat in the afternoon with whoever shows up! The event invites have been sent, but invite more if you want. over 1k invited to my event :) 2-5 on the Dreamspinner page on FB.
August 20 - GGR Reviews
August 22 - Multitasking Momma
August 25 - Rainbow Gold Reviews
August 26 - Tammmy Middleton's blog
August 27 - back at Joyfully Jay


  1. Take a deep breath my friend! You've got this! You have so many true friends behind you! ��

  2. Boy, I feel your pain! What a week. Much like a few of my immediate past ones. I promise, it will even out!

    Oh, I picked up Names the other night off DSP. I hope to finish what I'm reading now tonight or tomorrow, so I can start Names next! Will leave reviews!

    Peace <3

  3. Wow! That was a rollercoaster read - and you went through it??? I can't even ride a rollercoaster without p*king??