Friday, September 6, 2013

Words Matter

I have blogged often about WHY I write. Those who read my blogs have heard this before and I am sorry for the redundancy but my hope it that MORE people read my blogs now then before. IDK, maybe I am only talking to myself. (If not, please comment online, or in private message, *wink*) I write because I see things that go on in the world and I feel like I can’t sit back and do nothing. Case in point, see picture below:

Maybe some will view blogging as “doing nothing” since I hide behind my computer most of the time, but step by step I am striving to make a difference in people’s/reader’s lives and eventually in the people’s lives I interact with on a daily basis. Change takes time. Stepping out in faith that I will not get crushed again, takes time. I’ve hidden myself away for three years and denied what I think and feel out of fear. Fear of being myself, fear of saying things others will not agree with, and fear that someone will show up at my door and chastise me for having an opinion that hurts their feelings. (Or goes against their beliefs, because that happened before.) What I’ve learned is that people are capable of all kinds of hatful things. And they will even do them out of an attempt “to love”. But I often get the feeling these are the CONDITIONAL LOVE types of people. “I’m gonna love you, but you need to do the following….”

Well ya know what? Words matter. Words count. Words hurt.


I titled my series “Unconditional Love” because I am attempting to write a scenario of events in these characters lives, which mirrors things I observe in real life. Are they “actual” events or imagined ones? Some of both. I also take what I might experience (ie. Matt’s accident in TCOL) and I write it into my characters. I totaled MY truck exactly like Matt experienced in my book. I am trying to be real, and realistic. Sometimes, I might get it wrong. Whether it be from a lack of research or inexperience, I do get things wrong and I am sorry. My GOAL is to make readers think. If you are stuck on one detail and obsess about it, shoot me a e-mail. Ask me about it. Ask me if it happened to me, or if I even tried researching it. I WANT to deliver correct information! But I admit I am lazy and often do not dig deep enough to know what the heck I am talking about. And if the worst of the worst happens and I get the sex wrong – TELL ME!!!!! As you have discovered, I am NOT a man. There are some things I just won’t know. (Unless you tell me.) Side Note: I would have no problem discussing details of the same if some male person out there wants to set me straight. *another wink*

Another thing that has been on my mind is of a personal nature. Someone I know died this week. It was very hard to hear. He was young. 27. Taken from this world in more than likely a non-natural fashion. (Details of his death have not been released.) Mutual friends are hurting. I am hurting. And as in many deaths that occur in young lives, natural and unnatural, the people left behind have to deal with guilt. Guilt that questions, “Did I do enough? Was I a good enough friend? Did he know I loved him?” Because in the interest of expounding on the concept of “words matter”, I seriously doubt that some individuals in his life missed the fact that some words are hatful and can strangle a person even when they are delivered from a sense of wanting to help, or trying to love. It is out of that “conditional” love that we use words like fool, worthless, disgusting, and even worse: FAGGOT, FLAMER, FAIRY, DYKE, etc…

This song basically says it all. I can’t find the lyrics online, but I wrote down the ones I heard while listening. (Some could be incorrect.)

Define me, with all your words,
Then find me a lesson to be learned.
You can brand me or burn me, and I won’t let it hurt me.
Define me, as what I am,
And try me as just a simple man,
I’m no harm to you; I’m just doing the best I can.
And if I’m defined by what I do, then what am I supposed to call you?
The shadow of a broken path you abuse.
And if I can stand on my two feet, I’ll break the wall were we will meet,
I’ll document our combination for you.
We’re starting this party tonight, where people will be undefined,
And love who they want when the judgment is done and wont have to hide.
Starting this party right now, where people can shake off their doubts,
And send out their love as it moves through the crowd and people can shout:
That they love a man, or they love a woman,
And no one will be judged for love and I can’t be judged for who I am.
Define me with broad clich├ęs, but I wont undergo any hate for a stranger’s mistake
I’ve struggled through the boundaries of societies needs, and now I’m not trying to please, it’s freeing.
Define me, as God’s child, I’m human, and here only a while, this Earth is as much mine as yours in the end, so let’s unite as friends.
And if I can lie in nature’s bed without the roses killing me dead, I think the Earth has got a point and we’re a moving joint.
And if I can say my prayers at night, I think I’m doing something right.
Let’s open up a song of safety and carry through the night.
We’re starting this party tonight, where people will be undefined,
And love who they want when the judgment is done and wont have to hide.
We’re starting this party right here, where people will shake off their fears,
And mass tolerance is replaced with resistance and everyone cheers:
That they love a man, or they love a woman,
And no one will be judged for love and I can’t be judged for who I am.
That they love a man, or they love a woman,
And no one will be judged for love and I can’t be judged for who I am.

I love it. And the video. 


I often disagree with they way parents “parent” their children. It is what it is, and I’m sure there are people who disagree with me too. But my personal mission and passion, (and this comes into play in my writing) is for homosexuals, homosexual children: teens or young adults, or older homosexual individuals who have felt the oppression and hatred for years. Personally, I do not think it is loving or kind to try to treat ANY person differently based on sexuality. People are people. Start there. Love based out of love. It grieves me to think some people, kids mostly, are out there thinking “God hates me because I’m gay.” Or simply, “There is something wrong with me.” And if those questions enter the mind, where are they coming from? Society? Parents? Church? Friends? People, especially kids, (and to ME that is basically anyone under 25, haha) need to know they are loved regardless of sexuality. Kids have a hard enough time trying to live life! I would never want to redo my youth. It was too hard. Young adults NEED parental guidance and LOVE. Sometimes kids make mistakes, sometimes they fall in love with the wrong people, sometimes they commit crimes, sometimes they take the wrong job, but they still need parents to help them and love them and guild them. Add to that example a gay son who is confused and lonely and lost. (or daughter.) Just because that son is gay doesn’t change the rules. A young gay man is STILL in need of guidance and love and support when it comes to love and life. And in this society, even more so! Personally, I don’t think it is a choice to be homosexual. I think you are born that way. (Maybe I’m wrong.) But NO ONE would choose a life of hatred, intolerance, and continual chastisement. I mean seriously, would YOU? WHY would anyone CHOOSE that?
Answer: they don’t. So why try to change people? I say love them for who they are. And Allow GOD to love them for who they are.

I’m stopping here. I have no desire to argue theology or sticking points in my belief system, or yours. But my biggest problem with the church today is the over abundance of CONDITIONAL love, and pointing the finger at everyone else. I do not think the “church” as an entity looks at itself very often. It if did, I think it would see the hypocrisy going on.

Anyway… I have probably rambled on too long, but I basically talk to myself anyway. (Me, and about 150 fans who MIGHT read this.)

I write to paint a picture of what I see in the world and to challenge it.

My challenge to YOU out there is to love people UNCONDITIONALLY. Embrace people. Get to know them as people. Gay, straight, tattooed, pierced, or even if they are wearing a plain white shirt with a tie, get to know the people in your life with out defining them with words. Or If you do, let the words be FRIEND, LOVER, CONFIDANT, FAMILY. We are all on this Earth together.



  1. Very well said, my friend. Your children are very lucky indeed to have your as their mom.

  2. Great, heartfelt post, Wade. You're such a cool dude.

    1. I just want to help people consider their speech. Mine is not always helpful, but I'm trying to improve myself. One day at a time. And Cody, you are pretty awesome yourself. One day I'll travel west and meet you. ;)