Thursday, October 25, 2012

out of the funk

Yeah, so, I really shouldn't write a blog when I feel down. It normally goes away right after I do that! Like now!!! I'm okay. I just get dried up and the words don't flow and the characters are silent. Writer's block! It is definitely a BLOCK. More like a wall sometimes.

But "Names Can Never Hurt Me" is back on track. I have over 18.5k written and most of what I had in 3rd person is now switched to 1st! (Really glad.) I'll need to smooth things out though. Like I can read it over and I KNOW which parts were originally 3rd person and what I added fresh. Nick's voice is more casual in the newer parts. Anyway, that is what edits are for and polish after the whole story is completed, right? So I will get to it. I decided on switching POV's between characters. Not lots, but enough to give a look into the other character. I think it adds depth.

And more editor, (now that I complained in the last blog,) said things are going well and she is pushing through it fine. So glad. Not sure WHEN she will be done, but it is closer to an end when there is an actually start tot he editing. (ya know?)

I guess I don't have loads more to say than that. I'm writing, so I'm not currently reading. For those who "follow" my reviews it might be a little while. I'm in a sort-of groove and I don't need other people's characters confusing my head. I'll get back to reading soon.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Wade :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Yeah, I think I’m depressed. I feel really blah. I’ve lost focus. I can’t seem to write anything that sounds coherent. Everything sounds dumb when I type it. I haven’t had anything interesting to say to people out there, hence why the lack of blogging. I just don’t know what to talk about.

The MS for My Roommate’s a Jock is in the queue for editing. I guess that is good to know. Although when I read a time “window” of 4-6 or up to 12 weeks etc for this editing process I get more depressed. 12 weeks? Are you kidding me? Ahhhhhh. I just sometimes hate that I like to write so much. This “talent” or “desire” is not easy. I like easy. I like “handed to me on a silver platter”. Good golly this is work! Not that I am giving it up, I’m not, I’m just griping. I have a hard time waiting for anything. I was thinking it would be “soon” for a couple of my books to get published. My Roommate’s a Jock by December and The Cost of Loving by October. Well… My Roommate’s a Jock may still be this year, I have not gotten word about that either way. I can still hope. I HOPE that there is little to edit and that whatever corrections they need to make will be minimal. HOPE HOPE HOPE! But The Cost of Loving is just making me  more depressed as time goes on. I know I’m beating a dead horse in saying this—I just want it done!!! My editor said last week we will talk THIS week. Still nothing. I hate waiting. Plus, the longer she has the MS does that mean I owe more per hour of her time???? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not made of money and self-publishing takes stuff up front. Grrr. (Griping again, not looking for any “solutions”.)

What I seriously NEED to write is another book like My Roommate’s a Jock. What I mean by that is something that is a sure thing. I’m not so blind as to assume My Roommate is THAT GREAT as to take the world by storm, but what I think is that it has more of those “acceptable” elements that readers look for, like and embrace. But somehow my brain doesn’t like to follow subscribed methods of success. So I struggle. And struggle.

So, question….. Point of View: Do you as readers, LIKE or DISLIKE shifts in POV? I do not mean POV shifts like in When Love is Not Enough. I KNOW that was difficult to follow and I am trying to stay away from books and chapters like that. What I mean is do you like seeing into the other character too? I WISH The Cost of Loving was published because it is formatted like I am questioning. (Mostly Matt’s POV, but on occasion it is in Darian’s) … My newest one Names Can Never Hurt Me is so far all in one POV. I am wondering if it would be acceptable to write some of it through the other character and give perspective on his side. Do readers like that? I don’t know.

I’m also feeling like I write too much sex. (Sorry for those who enjoy reading lots of it.) It just seems to take up lots of pages and I’m not sure it is needed. So, maybe this one will have less. I don’t know. This is me talking out of depression and blahness and not knowing what to write. I’m just confused in reference to my direction and how to make money enough to cover costs of self-publishing the books no publisher wants. Because if I write it, I’m GOING to publish it! (Probably.) Especially a book like The Cost of Loving that readers are waiting for.

This “struggle” with publishing sequels is partially why I haven’t written the sequel to My Roommate’s a Jock yet. If I write it, and My Roommate is NOT successful at all, then I have yet another book that no one wants. So, I’m waiting. I’m taking notes when I think of scenes and dialogue. My brain often goes into “Cole Reid” mode and I cannot stop writing him. It’s weird. Like Darian, Cole is hard for me to shake.

So, don’t give up on me. I may not be around AS MUCH, but I am still here. I’m trying to sort out my stories in my head and WRITE them!

Until next time….


Side note: My blog (on Blogspot) has 1573 page views and 29 followers.
Twitter ( has 12 followers.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I "TWEET" now :p


I can't say I'm all that spunky lately. Nothing going on in the publishing realm and I get depressed easily. I'm reluctant to make a move in buying ISBN numbers for my self-pub just because I don't know when that is happening and it is a LOT of money to shell out. (So, I'm waiting.) Same goes for a domain name. I'm waiting. The longer I wait to spend money I have so little of the better.

Things to buy:
1. Domain name = aprox $50 for one year (this can vary)
2. 10 ISBN #'s = $250.00
3. Cover art (I still owe.)
4. upcoming copyright costs =$35 each

I'm not sure I have all this.

I STILL have one more quarterly payment from my publisher for sales of WLINE. But I will NOT hold my breath that it will help much. Sales are way low now that it's been out a year. Being a writer is a poor occupation. I guess that is why so many artists are referred to as "starving". At least I'm not that bad off; I've never really been hungry.

So, to do SOMETHING and try and get out of my funk, I opened a TWITTER account. I have 4 followers as I write this post. YAY! I don't know that I will have loads of grand announcements to make to the twitter world but I do think it will help make me more vocal and less "silent". It's not that I am normally silent in the real world, but I have little time to mess around on Facebook and post updates when I really don't have any. Same reason I haven't posted many blogs this month. I TRY to do a blog every 3-4 days but lately I feel like I have nothing to say. There is nothing going on and it is all depressing when I think about it. So I don't blog. It's not that I don't care about all my readers out there, I do, but I feel like I have nothing interesting to deliver to you. I am not all that exciting sometimes. Sorry, not I sound like I'm pouring on the self-pity... :s

I did write 1200 words over the weekend. And although that sounds great, it wasn't for any book I am currently writing. OF COURSE NOT! That would be too easy! I have to make life difficult and start another book! Why? Because I'm stupid and my brain won't shut off sometimes. I have WAY TOO MANY books rolling around in there! And more and more I am seeing scenes for the sequel to My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! so I hope this one sells better and I don't have to self-pub THIS sequel. (self-pub is hard work!)

For for Twitter sake, I have an app on my phone. I can now "tweet" about the characters in my head and keep you updated so I don't appear to have vanished off the face of the Earth!

My editor DOES have my book but I'm not sure it is going very well. I'm not sure she like the book. If not, I am back to square one. Do I edit it myself? Go with yet ANOTHER editor? I am sick about the whole stupid thing!

One kind-of good thing is that the anthology may not be out until late November or even early next year. This makes the schedule looser. I REALLY wanted The Cost of Loving to come out BEFORE the anthology short "Shades of an Untamed Heart" because it is chronologically after TCOL. So, problem solved there!

Right now I am trying to find just the right guy for the cover of My Roommate's a Jock? and I can't find one! No one looks like Cole on these studio model pictures!!!

I guess that is all I have to say for now :p



Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Repeating myself

Nothing really going on right now. I'm in a holding pattern that circles the airport with no landing in mind and a full tank of gas. grrr. Editor is sick. More delays. Too busy doing "life stuff" I can't write. I'm just.... blah! about it all. Can't wait to write, yet I have no time.

I have nothing else to report so I thought I'd post some reviews. I wasn't sure I saw this one before so maybe you haven't either...

When Love Is Not Enough
When Love Is Not Enough by Wade Kelly is a homoerotic romance.

Matt can't believe it when he found out the one person he could always count on, Jamie, is dead. The worst part is Jamie had secret parts of his life that no one knew about and the biggest was his fiancé Darian. Matt is shocked to learn there was many things he didn't know about Jamie, even when Jamie knew all about him. Everyone at the funeral is wondering how such a loving and happy young man could have killed himself. Matt is determined to find out why and he remembers the hidden stash behind Jamie's bed where he always hid his most important things so his mother would never find them. Jamie and Matt live in a town that is not accepting of anyone who is different especially his churches extreme views about homosexuality. Jamie left behind many questions and two people, Darian and Matt, who are drawn together in the crises. Are their feelings strong enough to survive or will they fade when they return to their real lives?

This is an incredible story about love, loss and lasting changes in the lives of the people left behind by suicide. Many people who have tried to commit suicide talk about feeling they can't go on and the only way out is death. That must be a horrible feeling, but the people left behind have to deal with not only the loss, but the feelings of guilt that they didn't do anything to help them. Jamie kept his life so segmented that the people in his life knew only part of him and couldn't realize what he was going through. It was sad how he felt he had to lie and keep secrets from even Matt and Darien who loved him unconditionally. The way Darian's mom forced him to talk to her minister was horrible because he knew that he if he told him the truth his mother, who was unstable at best, could physically hurt him. I was drawn into Darian and Matt's lives as they came together in their grief, but if they are lucky they may find a love that they never expected.

Reviewed by: Teresa

Plus, my book is on a list of favorite gay books for 2012. Yay me!

So, it's exciting to see more nice things about my book. I hope the next one gets some notice too.

Gotta go.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Cost of Loving

Against my better judgment I am revealing the official cover. Why? Because I’m an impatient person and having this cover on my computer and NOT sharing it is basically torture. The BAD news is that I don’t have an official “release date” to go with the cover. Booo. I know. I’m sorry. I promise to update about that as soon as humanly possible. Note: Enny and I have changed the "font" three times so that may change again :p

This is the blurb I’m going with (unless my editor decides to alter it):

Fear of wrath and judgment over his sexuality fueled Matt’s paranoia for twenty-three years until outing himself in front of the church congregation proves his assumptions true, and forces him to make the ultimate choice.

Matt Dixon is a Christian and has known for years where his church stood on homosexuality. Therefore, in order to avoid religious ridicule, Matt chose to live two separate lives, much like his friend Jamie Miller. However, when a self-righteous pastor prompted Matt’s impulsive nature to take a stand for his best friend’s honor—and at his funeral no less—Matt is forced to come to terms with his guilt, shame, and his very belief in God.

But Matt’s decisions affect all those around him. His family, his lover, as well as his friends, feel the impact of his public confessional and the repercussions threaten to tear Matt’s world apart. Will exposing the truth lead Matt toward the same tragic end that Jamie faced? Or will his perseverance bring him closer to understanding the cost he’d be willing to pay in order to be with the man he loves?

I might also add this contemporary m/m romance novel explores the complexities of coming out, in conjunction with the religious ramifications if that gay male happens to be a Christian, and the guilt and pain of losing a best friend to suicide. This is not an easy read, but then again it goes hand-in-hand with When Love is Not Enough.

This sequel picks up right after the last one ends. I seriously hoped it would come out RIGHT AFTER book 1, not a YEAR after!! Apologies on that one! It does recap to a small extent so if you don’t feel like rereading WLINE you don’t need to. I also tried NOT to jump around as much time-wise. I know people give me crap about that. Again-sorry. When Love Is Not Enough just came out that way. I couldn’t control it, it just was! I am a writer and the story flows how it wants. I tried to change it, but I couldn’t. TCOL is more chronological. I hope that helps.

I was supposed to meet with an editor this week but she was sick :( Because of that I have to wait a little longer. Most other stuff is taken care of so once she has read over it and made minor changes (I say minor because hey, it’s been through several hands already,) I will be ready to format and upload it. I am HOPING for an OCTOBER release. This could change but I think the goal is a good one.

I am also going to look into blog hopping or whatever. I need to contact some blogs. I guess I’ll do that this week.

Other news:
1. I am working on the cover for my winter release from DSP. Paul Richmond is probably doing the cover. YAY! He did WLINE’s cover! So I can’t wait to see what he comes up with for My Roommate’s a Jock? Well Crap! Note: it could also be clip-art of cover models (not necessarily a drawing) but as long as he oversees it, I'm happy. (He has a great eye!)

2. I am rewriting Names Can Never Hurt Me. Really, I am. I haven’t looked at it in days but it is always in my head! I want to finish it by December.

3. I am working on edits of the BDSM short that is going in Keirnan Kelly’s Anthology. It was requested of me to write a tad more and add some sex. HECK YEAH! I can handle those kinds of edits! Remember, this little short comes chronologically after TCOL and somewhere IN book 3. 

So, you heard it here first! Catch you Laterz!

(cover design by Enny Kraft)