Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A glimpse into my reading history

Hey. I've been MIA lately, but it is only because I have nothing going on worth talking about. I haven't written much lately. I was on this awesome kick for the New year and I wrote 22 days in January almost in a row, but then it stopped. I got burned out or something and the muse went away. IDK. Whatever it was it made all thoughts leave. And when I say all I mean all. I was having difficulty thinking about anything. Last week I had a headache for days. I think I was dehydrated. I need to drink more water, but I'm not in the habit of doing that.

Plus it's cold. I am tired of the cold. Matt Boston always posts about snow predictions and weather forecasts and I'm like, "NOOOOO!!!" It is a good thing I don't live in Boston. I don't want more snow. For one thing, school shuts down. For those who do not read my website, I have three children. When schools out that means I have three children in my house asking for food all day long, or bickering, or generally making noise. Like yesterday. I don't function well when my routine is messed up. I feel like it has been up-ended for a few weeks now. In the midst of the up-ending, I lost my voice. (Not literally, I'm using it metaphorically.) My characters went silent in my head.

I don't like when they go silent. It's like losing a friend (or several). I tried rewriting a story to stir them up, but I'm still not inspired. Last week I took Misplaced Affection and switched it all around. It wasn't chronological before so I tried simplifying it. I moved scenes and now it flows in chronological order. AND I am considering making it YA because it seems geared more to a younger crowd. I don't know. Any thoughts on that? Would you read it without the sexual content I normally have? And if it is YA, should I have a pen name just for YA like Andrew Grey has Geoff Laughton, or JP Barnaby has Jamie Mayfield? I thought I could write YA as Darian Weston. Although, I've never written YA so I would have to read the guidelines and make sure it is what I think it is.

At the moment I am reading YA. I picked up The Descending Darkness by Michael Chulsky when my mind was at its emptiest. I needed to do something other than write, so reading seemed logical. So far it is very good. I haven't read this type of book in a long while. It is more fantasy/paranormal with an X-men quality and I have typically only read M/M for a long time. I used to read fantasy all the time. I was fond of Elves and Dwarves and such forever. Fantasy was my genre of choice. But then I read a sci-fi novel with gay characters called Shadows of the Mind by Mark Alders and it opened up a whole new world. I could read sci-fi (Or fantasy) and have an M/M factor in it. WOW!!! I never knew. I can actually remember a time when I had never read a romance novel because I liked sic-fi so much that I didn't think anything in romance could compare. But in 1999 I picked up a book in a Borders Books and Music that was "romance" yet contained science fiction and world hopping. WHAT??? Yes, that was me being shocked. I had never heard of such a thing. So in 1999 I started reading romance and in 2008 I found GAY romance and sci-fi combined. Worlds were opening before me.

I started writing seriously in 2006. In that year I wrote (basically) a sci-fi/romance trilogy. This trilogy is still Unpublished , but it is also still around. I have my word docs. I have my characters intact. One day I will unleash them on the world. What I lack is time. I wish I had loads of time to sit and write continually and do nothing else. Who needs a shower? Who needs sleep? I want to write all the stories I have inside my head. But alas, I never have time. There is always someone who needs something like a meal or laundry or a ride somewhere. This is why things take me forever to finish. I'm a mom. And a wife. There was a time, probably back toward 2006 when I didn't do anything but write. I was consumed by writing and most everything else got put off. Then the pendulum swung the other way and I shoved writing aside to the point of painful realization that I can't do that and remain sane. I HAVE to write. It is in my bones. I fingers cry out to scrawl my words. Right now, I think the pendulum swings relatively in the middle. It does move toward either extreme (Writing ONLY or Neglecting writing all together), but it never reaches the extremes. I teeter in the middle which is good for my sanity and everyone's happiness. Because when I'm not writing, I feel it. I think I was depressed last week because I wasn't writing anything. I've had no voices telling me what to write and the silence is very sad and empty. I don't like it.

So I was reading a little. I need to read more. I like The Descending Darkness so want to find out what happens and then write a review for you all to read. I love Michael Chulsky so I want everyone else to read his work and love him too. He and Nick are great guys! I met them last year at GRL.

So yeah, where was I? I started off this month so well and then my mind went blank. Thankfully I wrote something yesterday. Only like 850 words, but after a week of silence that is a good thing. And even now I hear Corey's voice.  I am writing a different book. Well, I HAVE been writing two books at once. Mostly Misplaced Affection, but every now and then I scribble down words for Only Skin Deep. OSD is the sequel to Name Can Never Hurt Me which is coming out later this year. I feel a deep need to write the next part. Corey's voice is strong and I have to write about him. Book 1 was only a taste. Book 1 in what I'd like to call the "Self Esteem" series, is about Nick Jones. I hope you like it. I really really do. I miss it. I think that's why I can't write. I miss Nick too much. It's been months since I submitted it to Dreamspinner. It was accepted and it WILL get published this July, but I miss them. I'm probably going to end up reading the manuscript before edits begin. I want to reread it and take notes to better write the second book. And this way my characters will not seem so far away. I miss Nick Jones. It's weird to miss someone who is not real, but I do. And Corey, and Paul, and RC, and even Marcy and the mom and sister…. So many people in NAMES that I enjoyed and haven't read or written in far too long. Please pray they talk to me.

I feel like I've lost my way sometimes. Like writing was just a dream and that I've lost my touch. It makes me sad that I haven't written, but it mass me safer to think I lost a gift. I need to voice to come back strong. Yesterday was a start. It was a glimpse. I know I have it in me somewhere. Come on Corey, speak to me! I need to finish more manuscripts to submit!!!

Anyway… this is what is and is not going on.

Remember to pray for Eric and TJ and lend financial support whenever possible. Hospitals are very expensive and they will not be out of bills for a long time. Help when you can. Click HERE.

Also, I'm on TUMBLR.

Thanks for stopping by.


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