Monday, June 17, 2013

So out of it I don't even stalk myself.

I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden half of June is gone. G.O.N.E. gone! WT*? I have written some, yet not nearly enough. My personal goals were lofty and then real life threw in some obstacles. Right now I think I'm depressed. IDK. I just feel blah and I don't feel like doing shit. This is normally what happens when I don't write. Writing frees my mind. Writing energizes. NOT writing gets me down and I've slid WAY down into utter dismal paralyzed emptiness. Oh gosh I HATE this feeling.......

I also haven't stalked my name online to see if anything is going on. Sometimes reviews get posted and I don't even know about them. I Google my books now and them and catch the reviews that aren't on Amazon or Goodreads. Although, Goodreads is annoying me. If you check the stats of When Love is Not Enough, the review and rating tallies have been zero for like forever! I've tried "recalculating" them, but I've given up. Maybe that is a good thing because then I can't obsess over the numbers. I have none right now.

Also, obsessing over numbers that have dwindled to almost nothing, and threaten to run backward into negatives, isn't getting me anywhere. It doesn't motive. It hinders. It also reminds me that I need to write more. It reminds me how very few people have even heard of me. And, the decrees in reviews and ratings reminds me how fast I would disappear all together if I simply stopped writing. Very few people follow my blog. It has few pages views. And now I'm sounding all "whoa is me." (That is shocking. I never sound like that.)

It makes me go back to a blog I posted in the beginning. Remember those months? When I was so excited to be read AT ALL?? Well, I posted on WLINE being a "slow burn" because it was not a book to set the world on fire all at once. When Love is Not Enough is a book that takes time and slowly sucks people in. I still stand by that. I NEED to write another one like Jock. My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! is the kind of lighthearted romance that gets people smiling and sighing and asking the question, "What else has Wade Kelly written?" What have I written? Not much! Not enough!! I am in the beginning stages of a writing career. But, all writers have to start somewhere. Right?

Hang in there. If you are one of the 200 readers (in the world) who actually LOVE my writing style, and can't get enough of my characters, then you have more stories coming your way. I promise. I am simply slow at delivery. Every rock star started out as a nobody, right? Although... I have to say, I am not arrogant enough to presume to be a rock star. That would be TJ Klune. He's talented, prolific, hot, and in the most adorable relationship ever. So yeah, TJ is the rock star! I'm more like the rhythm guitar player for the band warming up on the fringe stage while he's preforming in the center of the world. Jealous much? (Yeah, little bit.)

But on the other hand, if the readers of the world were depending on ME solely, then they'd starve to  death. The fringe band is always there as a side distraction while the main band takes a five minute break between sets. I'm good for at least five minutes.

I don't even know where I was going with all that. I'm just rambling. Again. About nothing. Again.

I haven't heard from Dreamspinner in a week. Presumably they are working on the 3rd and last set of edits before a galley proof if made. I haven't heard about the cover in a long while. I mean, I have it, but they altered the font. So, IDK, I guess things are moving along.

Sales quarter ends then end of June. (Not that that means anything to you. It's just me thinking out loud.) AND I'm probably out of time to publish another book this year. Probably. If book 3 is rejected then I could still self-pub it by December. If it is accepted, then I will then maybe look forward to have two books release next year. Assuming this is the year I WRITE two books in one year! I still have time for the writing part. I am confident enough in that.

Side note: Snakes are improving. Scale rot down to two snakes. No mites. Dog (puppy) is not peeing or pooping in the house anymore. Less work for me there! Chicken pox are going away. So, "life" is settling down, maybe I WILL get to write more often!!!

What else?????? IDK. I guess I was also thinking over the little things that make people popular--other than writing a hit novel. Things "fangirls" (&boys) latch onto and want more of. If I was a rock star I might do interviews. I might a stats listed on my website. The details of my personal life may not bee so hidden in subterfuge. Would knowing more about me help? Would it be more appealing and gain a larger audience? Or is it just a perk to know things about the author, when really you'd read the books regardless? I want to know. I've been guarded on this topic forever. I did a small "interview"of sorts. Do you want more? Do you need more? Or do I wait until The Cost of Loving comes out and then dig a little deeper into my soul? IDK. I still have things to lose but I am no where near being afraid like I was. Really the last thing for me os to confront people I used to know and tell them what I do now. Once the people who hurt me know I'm not afraid anymore, then really I have nothing left to hide. Wouldn't that be nice? Although, I'd still write as Wade Kelly. Pseudonyms were created for a reason and I think my general privacy is important.

Back to the book like Jock... The one about rock star groupies will hopefully turn out funny and lighthearted. We'll see. That is definitely one I need to finish this year!!! The funny ones bump up sales and pique interest from new readers. That are important.

Ciao for now. Catch you on the flip side. Over and out.


5.0 out of 5 stars AmazingJune 16, 2013
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This book has all the right stuff that everyone should be able to read and re-read. I recommend it to open-minded people

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun ReadJune 3, 2013
Astrid (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
An absolute fun book to read. I loved just about everything about it, the witty humor was fantastic. Cole and Ellis - I wanted to smack them each a few times... but I adore them. Russell and Rob were hysterical. I'd love to see a sequel on this one.


  1. I do like your writing style, though I would rather not having you transform into one of those MM writers who publish a book a month. That's... ok, I won't tell you what is it.

    I love screwballs, I love MRIAJ even if it someway too light sometime. Keep on, write, have an icecream and an haircut.


    1. Well, THANK YOU! It is nice to see a new face and hear a new opinion. AND you reinforce the same things my normal/regular commentators say. They don't want me to turn into the same old thing that is already out there. (the one book a month writer). Don't worry. I think my brain works too slow, and my plots are too intricate for me to crank them out that fast! I would love it to be less than 9 months if I could have my wish. TCOL too 9 months to write and almost two years to get published, and it's not out yet. I refuse to write what I can cookie-cutter romance novels. I can't. I don't even think Jock is typical.

      I want to be different. I was to touch on controversy. I want to frustrate readers sometimes and make them mad at the characters. I like to provoke my audience. It's just sometimes, I start to doubt I HAVE an audience. I get depressed. Which, if I was smart, I should pour the depression into Darian Weston. (The character that could absorb it, transform it, and throw it back at the readers so they could feel my pain too. lol. I'm evil.)

      Thanks for commenting Andrea!! I need to hear it.

  2. Over the last 50 years I've had so many depressions and thoughts about my low selfesteem to tell you things like: "cheer up" or "think positive". It doesn't help - maybe even makes it worse.
    So I'll just say that reading My Roommate cheered me up, when I was in a down period - and more important When love is not enough helped me a lot organising alot of thoughts about my youth and life in general.
    So I'll only add, it's OK to take a break - but not too long. We're eagerly waiting for your next books.
    Oh, btw forget about the sales charts and numbers - at the end of the day they don't matter.
    All the best
    Tue Pol Halvorsen.

    1. Thanks. I need to hear it. Sometimes I feel alone in the "depressing state" I find myself in. I'm trying.

  3. I not only like your writing, but I'm rather fond of you, too! Write a sequel to Jock!

    1. :) okay. I'll pencil that in. But I have to write a few others first ;)

  4. Wade: you are an inventive, imaginative and insightful writer ... if you write it, they will come to read it (to nick a phrase)

    I know what stalking yourself is like, and watching squiggly lines on page stats can be about the most depressing or elating occupation out there, when you are avoiding what you know you should be doing. Once I realised it was an avoidance occupation, I managed to get it a little more in perspective.

    Thank you for publicising the anti-bullying campaign, by the way. I was only bullied for a short while in school but it left me supersensitive ever since. Keep working on believing in yourself and don't let others tell you how soon you OUGHT to feel ready to be more open. We all process stuff at different rates. Be COMFORTABLE rather than feeling obliged to share/reveal stuff.