Feeling Behind

Oh wow, okay. There's been a lot going on I guess, in life, in my head, in my world. Last week was RT Booklovers convention and although the week started out difficult for me, I think it ended on a high note. I really appreciate my friends. There are so many of you that get me and have been encouraging. I even got a text Wednesday night that made me cry and reminded me yet again why I write. I always forget and doubt myself because of others who speak into my head that I'm doing it all wrong. Some say I shouldn't write gay romance, and definitely NOT with sexual content. Well, it is what it is. I chose to do it. And when I second guess and reconsider that choice, there always seems to be a shout out or a cry in my darkness that says, "NO! Keep writing, because you made a difference in my life."

I've always said I want to bring hope to a broken world. There is too much pain out there. I feel it all the time. I write it. And yes, I chose to write gay characters because I feel like their story is the one that needs to be told. Will that change? Probably. The world is changing. Right now, it is relevant to me and I want to help make a difference in the world. I have huge dreams and  think that some people in my life can't see the good I do. All they see is what they disagree with. It hurts. But I think I have to go through the hurt to understand something bigger than myself.

I said in the last post that I think I need to see a psychologist or a therapist of some kind. I do. I found the card of the person I saw 5 years ago. I want to go back. I need someone professional who can take my fears and pain and help explain it, maybe?? It's confusing. But I know I have very few people in my everyday personal life that help ground me. All you guys online, and some in my town, are wonderful, but it still feels very lonely at home where I feel alone in a gourd of people. I am going to get help. However, I am not going to let go of my dreams because they seem to large or unattainable. I want to accomplish great things, and I am sad that others in my life don't get that and would rather I give up on everything that means so much to me.

I've also been thinking about my writing schedule and all the stories I want to write. I think I have 4 in the works and another 5 in my head???? With the roll I had in the beginning of the year, I figure that I can produce 25,000 words a months. if you take that and project out over the year, then basically it comes down to 822 words a day. 822! Oh, heck! I can do that! Of course, that is based on consistency. I had a goal of 2 novels this year. I THINK I can make that 2 full novels from scratch and maybe 2 that are either rewrites or ones that were half done already. Keep your fingers crossed for me because I think I might be moving into a realm I've never been in before--one with deadlines and expectations. I want Dreamspinner to be proud of me. I want my readers to be happy. I want ME to feel like I've accomplished more. I want to push myself to greater things. I AM a published author, which was a dream, and now I need to push for more. I CAN publish more than one novel a year. I know I can!

So, at the RT convention, I had a great time. I talked to some wonderful authors that I rarely see and I was so glad to spend time with. I also saw some fans who mean the world to me. Kayla is such a wonderful gal :) And seeing Karen again all the way from France just made me feel so special. I also met Alissa, and Wendy, and Sarah, and some romance authors whom I hope to see again. And having breakfast with Alex, Kayla, Wendy and Sarah made me smile! I think it was a good experience. I am not planning on RT 2016. For one, it is in Las Vegas and I don't really want to go there. And two, I think I need to mix things up a bit and make sure I do other conferences like Liberty States, and maybe Outlanticon, or Bent Con, or Coastal Magic. I have to look into when that are and where they are and plan. It is a lot to take in.

I WILL be at Rainbow Con in Tampa again this year, but also I don't think I will do that same one in 2016. I need to visit other areas in 2016. GRL is in San Diego this year and I WILL be there, and I PLAN on being at GRL 2016 wherever it is. I think that is the one con I want to try to hit every year. I don't know, but for now that is how I feel.

I have had a bunch of crap in my life for so long. Part of it I guess I chose to have because I refuse to stop writing what is not popular and write something that everyone will approve of. Well, I am just me. I have passion and a gift (albeit small) and I want to make a difference in people lives. I think I am. You people out there tell me that all the time. The tester person on Wednesday told me that and it was RIGHT AFTER I got a text that hurt my feelings and made me feel so small. Thank you person (you know who you are.) I need you.

Being a RAINBOW in someone's cloud is hard. But somehow, when the skies are dark and the storms of life pour down, it only takes a tiny bit of sun to hit the right molecules in the atmosphere to make them shine in all their rainbow colored brilliance. Help me shine.

I'm not sure what else there is to say except that I KNOW I forgot a LOT of birthdays lately. I'm sorry if I missed yours. My internet isn;'t always working and I've been offline often this past week. And if I write everyday in order to produce more novels, then please forgive me if I miss posts and forget your birthdays  :(

Keep your fingers crossed for me as I take another step toward being better as an author and as a person.

XOXOOXO

The RT Bookhaters experience

If you haven’t noticed, I tend to use “shocking” titles to grab your attention. For newbies to the Wade Kelly speak, you may not be used to my sarcasm, but eventually you will get use to it. I am not a “book hater”, but I am a NONreader. I am the most illiterate author you will ever meet, and probably one of few authors who rarely read. I often tell people I NEVER read, but that is not true. I embellish. I rarely have time to read so when I DO read it is normally within my genre. (Check Goodreads for what I like.)

That said, coming to this “BOOKLOVERS” convention was interesting given the fact that I probably recognized 2% of the authors listed on the RT website (out of like 700 registered), and READ 1%. So… LOL… This convention was a different experience for me than it would be for people who READ the authors who attended.

Most of the time there were 2400+ people here. LOTS of panels to sit in on, sometimes as many as 9 at the same time. (I did not fact check. It could have been more.) The hotel was HUGE and getting to the designated areas for a panel was a hike. The elevators were odd and you could only push the floor number in the hall way, not on the elevator. If you pushed the wrong floor, you had to wait, get off, and try again.

I often felt lost as a tiny fish in an ocean for authors. It was crazy.

So, (and yes, I use this unnecessary word often,) as for the PROS of going to RT BOOKLOVERS CONVENTION:

1. Exposure. New authors need to get there name out there in the public eye somehow. What better way than to attend an event where there are potentially 2400 new readers? 90% of the attendees might be HET readers, I don’t know, but I think there are a large and growing number of LGBTQ readers. Swag, promo, and author appearances are a great way for people to SEE YOU. (SEE ME.) You never know who will pick up a pen and later talk about you to a friend or twenty. Exposure is important.

2. Exposure. –Same word, different take. The LGBTQ spectrum of the RWA (Romance Writers of America) is small. So small, they only recently (I think this year) included categories for LGBTQ books to be judged for their prestigious “RITA” awards. (Don’t quote me on this, I could be getting my facts wrong.) No one won, but at least the categories existed this time. It is the same for RT. As I was listening (because that is what I do) I learned that the LGBTQ community presence is larger than it has been and continues to grow. RT takes notice of this. So bringing in my “little fish” self and making the LGBTQ authors percentage grow by one makes a difference. Every vice counts. Some LGBTQ panels were so large that RT will have to give us bigger rooms next year. As we continue to support the community, exposure is larger and larger and makes a bigger impact for the future.

3. I learned some things sitting in on panels. A.) readers like longer books better. (*information from a self-pub panel given by the CEO of Smashwords.) Stats show books that are over 100k sell more then the others. YAY for me, you know I can’t write short.  B.) Books priced at $1.99 hardly sell at all! .99 books do fine, but the KEY price is $2.99 or $3.99 (ebook). This doesn’t effect me right now, but this is good information for the future. C.) Readers like series! This is helpful to know because the Smashwords stats showed huge numbers for series books. I guess readers like a set of characters or a town/setting and want more about that place and people. Good for me to know. I need to write the 3^rd book about Darian and my sequel to JOCK. And get more consistent about writing the follow-up stories. D.) Authors with shorter names do better. Wade Kelly is nice and short. E.) Contemporary Romance sells the most. YAY ME! I picked the right sub-genre.

*disclaimer… This all said, these stats the Smashwords guy gave were based on ALL books sold on his site. He did not give stats for LGBTQ books as a category.

Also… I learned to pay attention to what the readers WANT. If they like a character, not a good idea to kill them. OR, if they LOVE a character, it might be good to give that character his own book. OR in my case, two characters. Readers have been asking about a sequel to JOCK. I NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM! I am slated to write that sequel next year. It will happen. And maybe if I get some fun characters going, I could create a series. We shall see.

~ Be organized. Lay out a writing plan and stay focused on writing well. The length of time it takes to write a book doesn’t matter as much as the quality of writing.~

4. RT BOOKLOVER’S Convention is just that – a booklover’s convention. It is for the fans! There were loads of fans who wanted nothing more than to find their favorite authors and “fan girl” them. Kind of like when I went to an Orioles Fan Day at the Park and waited in line to get an autograph of a O’s pitcher. It is a special moment. Some come with books to sign and some only want a picture or a signed post card because they have the paperback at home or have it in a Kindle. This isn’t a place to SELL lots of books and make any money. It’s just not.

I sold 3 books. The majority of readers here right now are HET, and also since I am a little fish, few people know my name anyway. I need to plug away at writing and continue to get my face and name seen in the public. My fans will grow.

HUGE highlight that made me cry a little was meeting a fan who was bouncing up and down with excitement over meeting me. She took a picture so I hope she friends me on facebook. Kayla told me about a road trip she took with a friend, Brad, and he read JOCK while they drove. She said they all about died laughing (other people in car too.) and they enjoyed the book so much. I was extremely happy to meet her because it validated my decision to come to RT. I made one girl very happy!

It was actually more than one, but in that example I was talking about Kayla. I met a few people who were very happy I was there. This makes a difference.

I also learned (I think on a panel, idk,) that as an author I need to take care of the fans I have. I can’t get hung up on how to grow the fan base, where to sell more books, and what will help me become more known out there without first taking care and interacting with the people who already know who I am. Those readers who read and love my books matter. I need to blog or tweet or whatever I normally do in social media to let them know I’m alive and I’m still writing. This is partially why I started The Wade Brigade. I intend to interact there more than other places and post excerpts there that are not listed in other places. The Wade Brigade is a special group on Facebook for current fans of my writing. Come on over and talk to me ;)

…..so what about the CONS?.......

1. The hotel is huge! The elevators are weird. The beds are double bed size, not queen.

2. I didn’t know there was a 20% cut taken by RT for all books sold. There goes any profit! I was going to reconsider my asking price but I thought about it too late. I decided to let it ride and see if I sold any. I am glad I left it alone because now at least I broke even. (As an author I still have to buy my books.) The 20% that RT took for a fee, took away any money I might have made. Note: I think someone else said they knew there was a fee, but I missed that in the e-mails. Not good. So read the fine print!

3. I was promised a ½ table….. wow. Half of a postage stamp is more like it. I think there were 3 authors in a six-foot spot with only about 18 inches wide of a table to stack everything, books included. This was the Indie Author side, the OTHER authors had about 3 times the price for the same entrance fee. Not fare RT.

4. Because of the size, I think, most attendees at the big book fair signing went to the “famous” author side first and the Indie Author side didn’t see traffic until 2 hours later. By the time people started trickling in, the event was more than half over. Sad.

I guess that is all I have to say… The tables were too small and the 20% cut seemed steep, but those are the only things I would say are negative.

Will I come next RT? I think so. Gregory Payne might want to come with me and I have a hard time saying no to Greg. It will be in Dallas. I will bring WAY LESS BOOKS! Way less. I am glad I didn’t fly for this one and learned things associated with driving 17 hours. (Also something I will not do again.) Max drive is 9 hours I think. I can handle 9. I’m driving to Chicago in October.)

I need to plan better and this experience gave me much to ponder and prepare for for next year. I recommend window panel adverts, and elevator ones! (Not sure on cost, but they were the best ones advertisement wise.)

Side note: I had 43 people sign up to try and win a free audiobook of JOCK, 19 of which wanted to be on the subscribe list! Whoot! For all you new subscribers-THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING!!!!

The winner was Cricket McD.

And Tina S. won my gift basket full of swag, books, and other items related to JOCK.

I know this is Saturday at 6:45 and the evening is not done, but I'm going to a dance and a FAN mingle event. Those things will be fun I'm sure. 

Not to mention I might see the really cute actors that were promoting their web series NECROLECTIC. I'm "Team Cas", btw. ;)

Laterz

Wade


PS: Did I mention I LOVE my fans!!!

I’m sick of NOLA already!

…….. Just kidding…… But I AM sick. I woke up with a head cold. In fact I woke up long before any sane person with a huge pounding  headache and a stuffy nose. I texted my daughter and she felt bad and said she hoped I got better soon. My son texted and told me to have fun “acting like a 21 year old with my crazy friends.” I love my kids!

So yeah… day one, was good but tiring as I drove for most of it. I found Beck Condit and my room. I found Jordan Hawk and hung with her. Had dinner with  Jordan Hawk and Jessica Freely. (EM Lynley also joined us.) FUN TIMES J

This morning I’m sitting in the restaurant and whose voice do I hear… JORDAN’s. :D heehee. I think it will be a nice week if I get to spend time with her. I got her cell number and thought, “OMG, I had JORDAN HAWK’S Cell number!” I am such a dork. But I think she’s awesome.

She is a very intelligent woman and we had some really good conversations about marketing and coming up with a business plan.

I’m not sure what else to write about. I’m trying to figure out where I will be today. There are a couple of panels I’d like to hear. I also need to go set up my stuff in the promo room. If you are at RT, stop by and enter a contest for a free audio book of My Roommate’s A Jock? Well, Crap!

Laterz ya’ll

Thinking about my friends

Hello,

I guess this is me promoting others. I do that sometimes. I wanted to let you all know about some books that my friends wrote. ALL of which I have NOT read... yet. But they are friends and I like to talk about my friends :)

First… S. Chris Shirley…. He has a book coming out June 11, 2014. This is his first publication and he has been working on this novel for years! YEARS!!!!! So check it out. If it sounds like a good read to you, buy it! and review it on Amazon, Goodreads, etc…

When seventeen-year old high school newspaper editor Jake Powell, fresh from Alabama, lands in New York City to attend Columbia University's prestigious summer journalism program, it's a dream come true. But his father, a fundamentalist Christian preacher, smells trouble. And his father is rarely wrong.

In Playing by the Book, Jake navigates new and unfamiliar ways "up North," starting with his feelings for a handsome Jewish classmate named Sam. What Jake could keep hidden back home is now pushed to the surface in the Big Apple.

Standing by his side are a gorgeous brunette with a Park Avenue attitude and the designer bags to match, a high school friend who has watched Jake grow up and isn't sure she's ready to let him go, and an outrageously flamboyant aunt who's determined to help Jake find the courage to accept love and avoid the pain that she has experienced.

Provocative and moving, Playing by The Book is a feel-good novel about the joy and heartbreak we encounter in the search for our own truth.

It is a YA novel. I read it is targeted for 13-16 yr olds. It is on Barnes and Noble for preorder.

And then there is Astrally Yours by Alex Carreras

This sci-fi fantasy novel is also found on Barnes and Noble. 

An Aferrum Brotherhood Novella. 20,486 words.
Caeli Aferrum found himself in the Midwest unsure what to expect from the human race.
He was searching Earth for a partner he could call his own along with some of his brethren. After a few beers and a name change to, Kyle he found the curious creatures full of questions. They appeared less scary and a whole lot sexier, especially the one named Hank.

When Hank Cutter entered Rascals Bar the last thing he expected in his small town of North Fork, Kansas was to meet a man. There was only one gay man in town and that happened to be him. He finds himself faced with a startling truth: Kyle is actually a Ferrumis in search of a mate he intends to have for life on the spacecraft Fronza, a stolen Thorean ship manned by seven other aliens who are roaming the galaxy with no particular destination in mind. He knew love came in many different shapes and sizes, but did his have to have a smooth metallic-colored tail and a set of razor sharp fangs?

Can their love span species lines and quench the growing lust in Caeli in time to save him from his Needing? Or will Hank deny his growing feelings to stay safe and sound on good ol’ planet Earth?

Tail and fangs? Hmm, sounds interesting to me!! :p

And lastly for today, my friend Michael Chulsky. I am about 1/3 to 1/2 way through his novel The Descending Darkness. It is a YA fantasy with teenage characters and his dialogue so far is exactly what I would expect from teenagers! When I finish, I will write a review.

After going from demon hunter to babysitter, seventeen-year-old SHADOW has truly hit rock bottom. One week he's slaughtering demons, and the next he has ten super-powered teenagers in his care. Shadow needs them, because without them he can't hope to defeat his new foe. But he's never dealt with other teenagers before. He never had a real childhood. He's always been a loner. Hell, he's tried the whole having-a-pet thing. It died. Shadow's mission: save the world and ensure his entire team survives the potential apocalypse. If MAEDARA, self-proclaimed fashionista and Queen of Evil, wasn't trying to rule the world, it'd be cake. Now, not only does Shadow have to deal with teens more concerned with going to the mall than fighting evil, but also a villain who, in his opinion, makes Lady Gaga look like Mother Theresa. Found on Amazon.

These are my picks of the week for you to check out while you are waiting ever so patiently for ME.

I am doing well. Busy as ever. I have RT coming up in a week. I hope to get the second round of edits this week, that would be great! I was crazy worried about my book Names Can Never Hurt Me so I asked a friend to read it and let me know if he hated it. Mainly because this particular editor for the first edits, really had nothing to say. Her silence made me question my writing. (AGAIN.) He said not to fear! He like it. Phew.

I'm sorry I doubted you Tina. You said you liked it and I should just trust your gut. But now I have 3 guts to go by. (three because my friend also gave it to his husband to read. Another of my friends.) I bank on their honesty. They are good people. So I hope it will also go over well with my audience. I want you readers out there to react. for good and bad. I want you to laugh and cry and relate to my characters. Or at least enjoy them. And hey, Names Can Never Hurt Me has a sequel planned! heehee. So when you finish reading, let me know if you are interested in more. (Although I hope by then I might have a good portion of it written.)

Coming soon! (I'll shout the date when I have it!)

What if sexuality wasn’t a definable thing and labels merely got in the way?

Nick Jones can’t remember a time when he wasn’t part of the in crowd. Everywhere he goes, he stands out as the best looking guy in the room, and women practically fall into bed with him. Then, after kissing Corey on a dare led to much more and on many occasions, Nick’s “screw anything” reputation escalated, but he didn’t care. 

When Nick meets RC at the restaurant where he works, it throws his whole life out of whack. Overweight, always sweaty, gay, and hairy like a bear; RC lives up to his dubbed nickname “scruffy dude.” He seems Nick’s complete opposite, but Nick can’t get him out of his head.

Because of peer-pressure and his fears about defining his sexuality, Nick struggles with stepping out of his comfort zone and caring about someone different than himself.  If he’s lucky, somewhere between arrogance and ignorance, Nick might find out what it means to be an adult, but if he’s wrong, he could lose everything.  

That's all for now. Over and out!

Wade