Throwback Thursday to October 2012!

Hello lovely people. I know I haven't been around, but part of that is due to trying to balance the writer life with the real world wife and mother life. Balancing everything can be hard. I think I used to put the writing off. Like, when something had to give it was my writing because "Oh, I can do that later." Except, later was the next day, or the next, and then a week went by and I forgot how much I need it. Writing is therapy! It helps me deal with my life because I can write the emotion I feel. I am very emotional, did you know that?

Well, the throwback is to 2012 because a post caught my eye: Out of the Funk. (Read original post) or just see below because it's posted here. There were all of 9 views on it, so I doubt very many people read what I said back then. HAHA.

Yeah, so, I really shouldn't write a blog when I feel down. It normally goes away right after I do that! Like now!!! I'm okay. I just get dried up and the words don't flow and the characters are silent. Writer's block! It is definitely a BLOCK. More like a wall sometimes.

But "Names Can Never Hurt Me" is back on track. I have over 18.5k written and most of what I had in 3rd person is now switched to 1st! (Really glad.) I'll need to smooth things out though. Like I can read it over and I KNOW which parts were originally 3rd person and what I added fresh. Nick's voice is more casual in the newer parts. Anyway, that is what edits are for and polish after the whole story is completed, right? So I will get to it. I decided on switching POV's between characters. Not lots, but enough to give a look into the other character. I think it adds depth.

And more editor, (now that I complained in the last blog,) said things are going well and she is pushing through it fine. So glad. Not sure WHEN she will be done, but it is closer to an end when there is an actually start tot he editing. (ya know?)

I guess I don't have loads more to say than that. I'm writing, so I'm not currently reading. For those who "follow" my reviews it might be a little while. I'm in a sort-of groove and I don't need other people's characters confusing my head. I'll get back to reading soon.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Wade :)

I find this interesting! I still feel like I shouldn't blog when I'm feeling down but not because the words don't flow. I think it used to be a sort of self-pity because I JUST COULDN'T WRITE and I was bummed about it. And, often when I'm down now it is because of something someone in my real life says to me about what I write. Ya know, all that crap I deal with and dealt with doesn't go away. I stopped whining about it, but the nay-sayers are still there and they get me down sometimes. But what got me, and this is just a BREIF mention about it since this post is not about that, is that I was questioned why I don't "recoil" from it. The "IT" most likely being gay sex, gay relationships, or homosexuality in general. Well, when I heard that word, I DID recoil. I recoiled from the user. "Recoil" to ME is a very strong word! To recoil in the sense I took it, seemed impossible and I felt like I had been given a choice. Side with him and "recoil" from homosexuality, or recoil from the person I was talking to in RL and stand defensively in front of people like Matt & Brad, Sam & RICK, or Jeff & Will. Those were the people I thought about in that moment. I thought, "NO!" Jeff is my friend! I love him. I could never recoil because he's gay. I don't think of him like that. I call him my honorary cousin. To me, he and Will are like family. Matt and Brad write so much about life and love that I could never "recoil" from the wisdom I gain from knowing them online and interacting with Matt. And ANYONE who would recoil from Sam is just stupid. That kid has wisdom in spades! He's an amazing inspiration. So yeah, the "battle" is ongoing. But I continue to write about the things that effect me, so yes, you may see more religious content as I see fit, because this is where my passion lies. (JOCK 2, however, has none)

Anyway…. Funny how I talk about NAMES having POV shifts because I took them out! haha. I love Nick's voice. He is a great character. Yes, some people don't like him, but I think he is the most dynamic character I've written. Those who don't give him a chance are missing out!

As before, I am not currently reading because I am writing, but I DID tell my daughter we are reading this summer. So, I will be reading To Kill A Mockingbird with my daughter, and hopefully finish some books I started earlier in the year!

Writing is going swimmingly! I have 34k in 17 days for this latest one! This is the best I've ever done writing! I hope to keep up the trend because I have promised Dreamspinner several books! That translates into more reading for you all once these start getting published. 2016 could be an extremely exciting year for Wade Kelly fans! (Just saying!)

No! Jocks Don't Date Guys (JOCK series, book 2) has been contracted and is about 5 weeks out for start of production. It should come your way in November or December. I was hoping for October, but that is hard when I didn't submit it until May. I need to time projects better. I will! I am writing Book 3, but put it on hold for Banker's Hours because those characters are talking up a storm. It is light and funny and fast paced so it should be a hit. (I hope.)

(Note: this is the first look at the Wade Kelly Scale with 8 titles on it! Three of them are not released yet, but should be the next ones. This is where I believe they sit.)

JOCK 2 is also very light. It's a 3 on the scale because of some "back story" that seeps into the present day events and causes some trauma, but hey, a book with gummy bears and cheerleaders has to be good, right? ahhahaha. I think you'll like that book. It is very sweet. Alonzo may be my favorite character ever. Hard to say. I have a special place for Darian, but Alonzo stole my heart.

Here is the blurb for the one coming out later this year:

No! Jocks Don't Date Guys

What is a sexy soccer stud supposed to do when “following family traditions” falls 180 degrees opposite his closeted ideal?

From birth, Chris Jackson had been schooled on how to land himself a cheerleader. After all, his father married one, and his father’s father before that. Heck, even his older brother married their father’s definition of a stereotypical cheerleader the summer before Chris went off to college. For two years, Chris dodged invasive questions about relationships by blaming his lack of female companionship on grueling practices and heavy coarse loads; but really, his lack of interest in girls period should have given the family a clue. It wasn’t until Chris mentioned meeting a boy that his father’s synapses short-circuited.

Alonzo Martin was anything but a buxom blond. From his black hair, combat boots, and trench coat, to his nail polish and guyliner, the mysterious introvert was not so easily persuaded to go on a date. Alonzo’s insecurities kept Chris at arm’s length, but even his painful past couldn’t compete with the charismatic jock’s winning smile and sense of humor.

When opposites attract, only cheerleaders and gummy bears can overcome fear and family traditions.

So, what do you think? Worth reading? I hope so. As I was reading through it one more time before official edits start, I was truly enjoying it. I love Chris, and I adore Alonzo! 

Ciao for now!

Wade :)

Friend Fridays - Sarah Madison

Hello my lovely people. We are back again today for another segment of Friend Fridays where I share an excerpt or interview. Something about a book or author whom I've met online. I have yet to meet Sarah personally, but I look forward to in the future.

This is an excerpt post from Sarah's book: Walk a Mile

Walk a Mile: Book Two in the Sixth Sense series. Release date October 3, 2014 An All Romance Bestseller! An October 2014 Recommended Read from Prism Book Alliance. Third Place in Best M/M Mystery in the 2014 Paranormal Romance Guild’s Reviewer’s Choice Awards. The Sixth Sense series was awarded 2nd place for Best M/M Mystery Series in the 2014 PRG’s Reviewer’s Choice Awards.

Blurb: Six months after starting their hunt for a serial killer who is still at large, FBI agents Jerry Lee Parker and John Flynn are partners in every sense. But Jerry has serious doubts about their relationship and whether they would even be together if not for the way Flynn changed after touching a mysterious artifact in a museum.

Flynn hates the extraordinary power bestowed on him by the artifact and wants nothing more than to have a normal life again. Jerry fears that without the unusual connection they forged, Flynn will no longer want or need him. Chasing after a similar artifact takes them back to Flynn's old stomping grounds in Washington D.C., where his newfound abilities uncover long-buried secrets, the kind people would kill to protect. But they aren't the only ones looking for these powerful relics, and what they discover will threaten their relationship—and their lives.

Buy link: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5521

Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00NYNNAJS

This Excerpt is PG-13 for those who care to know :)

Jerry could sympathize. His palms dampened at the idea of meeting Flynn’s former lover. His former female lover. He wiped his hands surreptitiously at his sides and wished there was time for him to dash into the men’s room and straighten his tie or something. If he put his sunglasses back on now would he look cool or pretentious? Crap. Would anyone noticed if he stood with his gut sucked in for the rest of this visit? Maybe she’d be a frumpy librarian type. Oh, who was he kidding? This was Flynn’s ex-girlfriend he was talking about. She’d be the sexy librarian that would knock your socks off just by saying hello. The echo of a woman’s shoes on the tiled floor made him realize she was here and he’d run out of time to make a better impression. Slowly, he turned to face the woman approaching them. Oddly, when he briefly caught Flynn’s eye, he looked as reluctant as Jerry felt.

Nancy Glover was absolutely stunning. She couldn’t have looked better for the ‘run into the old boyfriend’ moment than if she’d planned for it. Her hair was that vibrant Dana-Scully red that could only come from a professional colorist, and suddenly Flynn’s remarks about him not dying his hair that color had a lot more meaning than before. The intense shade complimented her pale skin and illuminated her green eyes. Of course she would have green eyes. Dressed in a black pencil skirt and white blouse, she had the cool demeanor of Agent Scully as well.

“John,” she said, walking up to the counter where Flynn and Jerry were waiting. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here at the museum. In fact, I’m surprised you’re in town at all. I would have bet good money that you weren’t coming in for the reunion.” Her smile was pleasant but cautious, like a stray cat that wanted to be friendly but wasn’t sure she wasn’t about to get shoved in a carrier and taken off to the shelter.

The woman behind the desk watched their interaction avidly. Jerry thought about offering her some popcorn. Flynn glanced at him sharply.

“I’m not here for the reunion.” Had it been anyone else, he would have sounded curt, but Flynn’s charm didn’t fail him. “I didn’t know you were working here. Last I heard you were at the Smithsonian.”

She shrugged. “There were cutbacks. You know how it is in a down economy. To be honest, I prefer working at a smaller museum. Less bureaucracy.” A real smile cracked her cool exterior. Damn. Under other circumstances, Jerry suspected he’d like her. She raised a questioning eyebrow at the two of them. “So what are you doing here? And who’s your friend?”

“My partner, Special Agent Jerry Parker. We had to come to D.C. on business and I was curious about this trinket box that was listed as part of the Smithsonian’s collection. How’d it end up here?”

“Come with me, I’ll show it to you. You can go ahead and close up, Betty. I’ll see them out.” Nancy turned on a glistening black heel and walked back down the hallway from which she’d come, her shoes clicking authoritatively as she moved. “As to how it ended up here, the Smithsonian had no idea what to do with it. It didn’t seem to be particularly valuable and no one could tell precisely what its origins are. You’re telling me you saw one of these in California?”

“Yes,” Jerry said, entering the conversation for the first time. “Though this one appears to be a bit smaller. The designs on the casing are similar, but not identical.”

Book Three, Truth and Consequences, will be available in the fall of 2015!

Sarah Madison Author Bio and Contact Information: 

Bio: Sarah Madison is a veterinarian with a big dog, an even bigger horse, too many cats, and a very patient boyfriend. She is a terrible cook, and concedes that her life would be easier if Purina made People Chow. She writes because it is cheaper than therapy. (LOL. I -Wade Kelly- think that's funny.)

Contact links:

Website: http://www.sarahmadisonfiction.com/

 On Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B004K9QY5C

On Facebook (Author page): http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sarah-Madison-Author/106445646104338

On Facebook (Profile page): https://www.facebook.com/akasarahmadison

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/SarahMadisonFic

On Dreamspinner: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=Sarah+Madison&osCsid=i8qhvu8sb7150s11croi48klc3&x=31&y=8

Goodreads Profile: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4057853.Sarah_Madison

On Tumblr: http://sarahmadisonfiction.tumblr.com/

  

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Thanks to all the Friend Friday guests so far. Sue Brown, Jeff Adams (TWICE), Gregory Payne,  Chris Shirley, Tammy Middleton,  DS Kenn,  Whitley Gray, Felice Stevens, Bronwyn Heeley, and Andrew Q. Gordon.




Thank you for dropping by!

My Insanity

I don't like repeating myself. Either when someone isn't listening, or forgot what I said. I especially do not like repeating myself as I am TODAY. I feel like I am stuck in a Buffy Episode where she went into the basement for the Mummy Hand and the day repeated itself in an endless loop. (Well, it DID end… but whatever). Today is De Ja Vu (I obviously don't know how to spell that.)

I am actually doing all the same errands I did yesterday and it annoys me. I went to the bank yesterday, WHY do I have to go there again TODAY????? Also, I went to the post office YESTERDAY, why do I have to go today???? Well, obviously because I was not thinking ahead and I didn't balance my check book yesterday or I would have noticed that I had several checks lying around that needed to be deposited. I am made of money so I guess they could have waited -- NOT!! I also forgot the skirt I wanted to return when I went to the post office yesterday and I really wanted to return it because I NEED the refund. I didn't like it at all.

Yesterday I ALSO picked one daughter up from school AND I have to do it again today!!!

What I did NOT do today was write. (YET) This is probably why I am annoyed. Writing relaxes me. I am NOT relaxed. I am stressed. I fly to Boston tomorrow and I am not packed. My child had an ear infection this morning so I had to take her to the doctor with all my extra time. Then I took the prescription to the pharmacy and it was closed for lunch. OMGosh!!! Let me just wait my time waiting around. No! I went to Birdie's. I figure if I am on repeat, then that is where I went yesterday. I got the same sandwich! A BLT on a pretzel roll with avocado. When JOCK 2 comes out, I reference this sandwich. It's my favorite. I think Alonzo gets it for lunch.

If you haven't noticed, I am have absent from Facebook slightly. I mean, I'm on it, but from my phone. My family has had a personal thing that has taken up some time. I think everything is fine now, but it has been stressful. I have been to the hospital several times.

I also started painting rocks yesterday while my kid had friends over so then it wasn't something that would irritate me being interrupted to make dinner to drive kids home. The thing with the stones is that I am not an artist. I am also slow. I have a hard time painting names on them, yet this is the project I decided to take on. I wanted to write the names of all my fans on the rocks and put them in a jar on my desk to remind me of all the people I care about, and who care for me and enjoy my writing. I am seeing some issues with that. I have 175 fans in the Wade Brigade. That should mean that 175 stones need to be done. However, there are people I want to include that are not in my group. So, I painted a couple of those names. But as I look at my list of "friends" on Facebook, there are MANY names of people that I consider my friends and that I think should be on a stone in my jar. So, this could take a while!!!! Here is a pic of the ones so far. If your name isn't there, it may be on my list. Or, hey, comment below and tell me to paint you a stone.

In other news I am writing. So, I'll have to give you an update on all the projects I have going soon. Hugs and kittens (lol. luv ya Jay!)

Laterz,

Wade

Feeling Behind

Oh wow, okay. There's been a lot going on I guess, in life, in my head, in my world. Last week was RT Booklovers convention and although the week started out difficult for me, I think it ended on a high note. I really appreciate my friends. There are so many of you that get me and have been encouraging. I even got a text Wednesday night that made me cry and reminded me yet again why I write. I always forget and doubt myself because of others who speak into my head that I'm doing it all wrong. Some say I shouldn't write gay romance, and definitely NOT with sexual content. Well, it is what it is. I chose to do it. And when I second guess and reconsider that choice, there always seems to be a shout out or a cry in my darkness that says, "NO! Keep writing, because you made a difference in my life."

I've always said I want to bring hope to a broken world. There is too much pain out there. I feel it all the time. I write it. And yes, I chose to write gay characters because I feel like their story is the one that needs to be told. Will that change? Probably. The world is changing. Right now, it is relevant to me and I want to help make a difference in the world. I have huge dreams and  think that some people in my life can't see the good I do. All they see is what they disagree with. It hurts. But I think I have to go through the hurt to understand something bigger than myself.

I said in the last post that I think I need to see a psychologist or a therapist of some kind. I do. I found the card of the person I saw 5 years ago. I want to go back. I need someone professional who can take my fears and pain and help explain it, maybe?? It's confusing. But I know I have very few people in my everyday personal life that help ground me. All you guys online, and some in my town, are wonderful, but it still feels very lonely at home where I feel alone in a gourd of people. I am going to get help. However, I am not going to let go of my dreams because they seem to large or unattainable. I want to accomplish great things, and I am sad that others in my life don't get that and would rather I give up on everything that means so much to me.

I've also been thinking about my writing schedule and all the stories I want to write. I think I have 4 in the works and another 5 in my head???? With the roll I had in the beginning of the year, I figure that I can produce 25,000 words a months. if you take that and project out over the year, then basically it comes down to 822 words a day. 822! Oh, heck! I can do that! Of course, that is based on consistency. I had a goal of 2 novels this year. I THINK I can make that 2 full novels from scratch and maybe 2 that are either rewrites or ones that were half done already. Keep your fingers crossed for me because I think I might be moving into a realm I've never been in before--one with deadlines and expectations. I want Dreamspinner to be proud of me. I want my readers to be happy. I want ME to feel like I've accomplished more. I want to push myself to greater things. I AM a published author, which was a dream, and now I need to push for more. I CAN publish more than one novel a year. I know I can!

So, at the RT convention, I had a great time. I talked to some wonderful authors that I rarely see and I was so glad to spend time with. I also saw some fans who mean the world to me. Kayla is such a wonderful gal :) And seeing Karen again all the way from France just made me feel so special. I also met Alissa, and Wendy, and Sarah, and some romance authors whom I hope to see again. And having breakfast with Alex, Kayla, Wendy and Sarah made me smile! I think it was a good experience. I am not planning on RT 2016. For one, it is in Las Vegas and I don't really want to go there. And two, I think I need to mix things up a bit and make sure I do other conferences like Liberty States, and maybe Outlanticon, or Bent Con, or Coastal Magic. I have to look into when that are and where they are and plan. It is a lot to take in.

I WILL be at Rainbow Con in Tampa again this year, but also I don't think I will do that same one in 2016. I need to visit other areas in 2016. GRL is in San Diego this year and I WILL be there, and I PLAN on being at GRL 2016 wherever it is. I think that is the one con I want to try to hit every year. I don't know, but for now that is how I feel.

I have had a bunch of crap in my life for so long. Part of it I guess I chose to have because I refuse to stop writing what is not popular and write something that everyone will approve of. Well, I am just me. I have passion and a gift (albeit small) and I want to make a difference in people lives. I think I am. You people out there tell me that all the time. The tester person on Wednesday told me that and it was RIGHT AFTER I got a text that hurt my feelings and made me feel so small. Thank you person (you know who you are.) I need you.

Being a RAINBOW in someone's cloud is hard. But somehow, when the skies are dark and the storms of life pour down, it only takes a tiny bit of sun to hit the right molecules in the atmosphere to make them shine in all their rainbow colored brilliance. Help me shine.

I'm not sure what else there is to say except that I KNOW I forgot a LOT of birthdays lately. I'm sorry if I missed yours. My internet isn;'t always working and I've been offline often this past week. And if I write everyday in order to produce more novels, then please forgive me if I miss posts and forget your birthdays  :(

Keep your fingers crossed for me as I take another step toward being better as an author and as a person.

XOXOOXO

Devine Intervention

This morning I was having to most uncontrollable emotional reaction to being away from my family that ever before. I've been to conferences where I'm away for a week and usually it takes 4 days or so to really feel hard, and make me lonely. This time it was day two! I JUST saw my family yesterday morning.

(Matt and Brad always have a picture.)

Part of this is due to feeling VERY distant from my 18 yr old son (soon to be 19). He's my oldest and my only boy, and I'm having difficulty understanding him.

Today, at breakfast, I broke down and cried at the breakfast bar. (I was sitting there because  was a party of one.) I was by myself until another single party sat down next to me as I cried. She was nice and didn't make me feel uncomfortable and after I calmed down, we talked for 2 hours. Turns out, she was a psychologist. I thought of it as a Devine Intervention because there was't any real reason she was here. She lives in Texas and wasn't even staying in my hotel. She was here to see a friend and that friend wasn't seven working to day and so she stopped to get breakfast before getting a manicure.

She sat next tome, the broken, sobbing, mess of a mother who just does;t understand her son.

Everything she said made sense. It helped me process it. And I think I need to see a therapist because there is a lot of crap in my own head to process. I think I have abandonment issues.

I have always been alone. Always. I was a loner in high school because I never fit in. I figured out over the past 5 years that no one understands the mind of an author, except another author. (Or painter or musician. An artist of some type.) But I didn't know that years ago. I just knew I was different and I think different and I see ice different. No one cared to know my dreams back then. Even now, very few ask. Even people in my every day life don't always support my dreams. So, I go it alone.

Many of you know of my story from 2010, so I won't bore you, but one thing that occurred was losing all mu friends over writing a book. Then, again in 2014 (and sort of still now,) I face that again. I've been abandoned many times over in my lifetime. And I guess part of me fears losing my son. So, today, I was extremely emotional over it. (Still am.)

What is different about me in 2015, is that I know I have supporters. I have wonderful friends and readers and fans who love me. I APPRECIATE YOU ALL!  I also think I have a purpose to bring hope and change the world. Maybe the change will take a long time, but I don't want to give up. Writing is my dream. Being a published author is the part I have achieved, but I do have bigger dreams.

I want to write a Broadway Musical. No, it doesn't help that I can't write music, but I want to pull apart a story into its essential elements and write lyrics to songs that tell that story. This dream may take a while, but I am only 46. I have time. I don't want  to lose my dream. Dreams push us and pull us beyond ourselves, sometimes to be more than we are at any given time.

I think I need to talk to a therapist to help sort out the doubt and the fear I have of failure. I'm not talking about the failure of never writing that musical, but the failure to be the kind of person that changes the world one person at a time. The failure to love people, like I want to love people. I fear failing to leave a mark that lasts long after I leave.

And in this moment, I fear losing my son as he grows up. It's painful to go through as he pulls away. You all know I am an emotional person. Today was like an explosion. I appreciate all your thoughts that were posted in Facebook. I need you and I thank you for caring about me.

I think I'll be okay. I just need to talk to a therapist to help me work through it.

:)