I'm reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and I find it interesting how accurate she is about writers. NOT that I know THAT many writers and even in knowing writers it doesn't mean I know the inner workings of their minds. BUT, in the case of ME, Anne Lamott seems to have hit the nail on the head as to the way I think and the things I go through in writing. I have not finished the book, but so far I find it fascinating and relieving. If she is writing things like this, then it means that I am not alone in thinking I write crap and I am not the only one that is paranoid and obsessive. I am one in a pond full of paranoid and self-doubting authors. AND she has that "I'm PUBLISHED" feeling down too!!
It IS what we all want--to be published! But it is NOT what it is all cracked up to be. Just because one book got published it does NOT guarantee the next. (Or guarantee the sequel in my case.) Writing is a mystery that seems to come on strong when I least expect it and disappear without warning.
I haven't written anything of mention in weeks! WEEKS!!!! The dry spell is daunting and dreadful and killing me! I was trying to write a story about myself. I have loads of material, right? Well, the story isn't forming. it is all just boring facts that don't jump off the computer screen. I re read the sentences and think, "No one will find this interesting at all!" So I stopped.
I started reading a different book. Bird by Bird. I feel like I am not alone in my struggle. It is normal. I need to think and then NOT THINK. I need to open my mind to whatever is willing to pour out!
Last night, or this morning I should say, I had a thought. It's a book I've been kicking around but I didn't have a shape. Just a couple characters that I made notes on my smart phone about. It doesn't have a title yet. BUT I did see the first kiss. I felt this strong sense of what the one character is like. What he wants, and what he is afraid of. I could also see my other character. What he used to be and what he doesn't know he wants. I could see their connection and I visualized some of the kinky things they might do together. Kinky? Did I say that? YES, yes I did!
So this may not be what I INTENDED to write next but it is the story that wants to come out! So far I've taken notes. We shall see where this goes!!