Sunday, August 31, 2014

E-Mailing the Pastor

Yeah, not something I really wanted to do right here, right now, but I feel it was for the best. Wade Kelly is my Pen-name, you know that right? I have another Facebook page for my personal life under my given name and on THAT FB page I started a "group" for people I was friends with for years who knew I was a writer and then wondered what happened to me after 2009. Most of those were from AUTHONOMY. Recently, I started including other people in that group who know me and who now know I'm a writer. Some from high school, some from around Westminster, and yes, some from my current church. I was trying to be more open and honest in my life, something it has taken 4 years to do, and so I added current friends.

A few weeks ago, I posted about a person I added to my group and who I told some things about myself, who completely flipped out and said some things I was not prepared to hear. Things that took me right back to the fear I felt in 2010. I wrote about that int he post BACKLASHES. I knew people would come along who would NOT agree with what I write and who would disapprove strongly. This person did. Then she e-mailed. And E-mailed. Today she confronted. In my little "group" on my FB profile under my personal name, I posted this:

An update: I'm e-mailing the pastor. The "person" confronted me this morning and thinks I need to talk to the pastor. I agreed because I respect my pastor. I think he is a very intelligent man. An d although some thing I should just "find another church" I am unwilling to do that unless forced out. I am not running. I care about people too much. I need to state my case, my vision, and my cause. I see myself as a bridge between two very different worlds (at times). Bridges are built to stand the weight of everything that travels over them. Maybe God made me to bear all that weight because he knows I have no power to do that unless he sustains me. I am here for a purpose. My e-mail to the pastor basically outlines everything about me in the last 4 years. Why go into that much detail? Because SHE might. I don't want him blind-sided. People in this group have access to everything there is to know about me. My personal side AND my writer side. And really, once everyone in my personal life knows about all the writer stuff, there really isn't a reason to keep much separate except the safety of my children from the possible crazies out there. Fans can turn into Kathy Bates from Misery, ya know. So, short version… PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. Pray for my words. Pray this does NOT turn into the nightmare I lived 4 years ago.
I tell you all this because I sincerely ask you to pray for me. I know Rev. Lucien will. Good man that he is. He cares very much about me. I know Rev Ijeoma will. She even told me to put on the full armor of God. People out there in my writer-life community care about me and my stories. If what I have to say comes from God, then I only want to know the Will of God in my life. How to I use my life and talent for good? Don't we all (most) wonder about our purpose in life. I do. 

I see my life as a cooling to write about culture and society and the struggles people really go through. Does that come across in my writing? Does it? Are there things that make you as a reader think more deeply than before? Or do my words contain nothing of value and therefore it doesn't matter what topics I chose from?

I WANT TO KNOW. What matters to YOU the reader?

I could have stopped writing in 2010. I could have. I wrote a fluffy novel (now out of print) that stirred the whole hornets nest up. If I had stopped because my content was "not acceptable", then When Love Is Not Enough would not have been written. JOCK, TCOL, and NAMES would not be out there. Please comment. Tell me (and all those who MIGHT see my blog, pastor included,) what have my stories done for you and in your lives?

This is all for now. I wanted to get this out there so those who do pray, can. I love you my peeps, but I really need your strength and encouragement now more than ever.



But hey, good news is that if I AM THE ONE under the microscope, then all of you are off the hook for now. Too many people will be trying to "fix" me and will have no time to worry about you. :)  Just a thought.


  1. Good luck. I hope everything works out and your community continues to support you in all capacities.

  2. This is a great post. I hope your pastor does see it because it shows your passion. Your words are important. NAMES alone is important to have out there because of the message it conveys about labels, the impact of words and the amazing healing love can bring,
    Fight the good fight. You've got tons of friends and fans supporting and praying for you.

    1. Words can not express what I feel about you Jeff. :)

  3. Hi Ms Wade :)

    One of the reasons why I love your writing so much is because of the sense of challenge it brings up in me. You know I had a hard time with When Love Is Not Enough and it took me a long, long time before I could even pick it up even if I had it all ready open.

    Coming from a Catholic world, I was brought up to love my neighbors, never to pass judgement and to be tolerant of others' beliefs and religion. But there was the BUT there all the time and it took two men, two uncles, both in the priesthood, to straighten out my thoughts and confusion. Three of those thoughts were on the subject of homosexuality, persecution and suicide. However, despite their reassurances and love, these three things were placed under my: Knowledge category. So I knew and I thought I understood. But to actually live the life of young men and women who go through these hardships, I could not imagine nor think of reading about it.

    It was your challenge that made me face up to those fears and got me to finally get a more intimate glimpse on how it could all be - resulting to a deeper understanding and love for them. So if someone says what you are doing is wrong, I say: go ahead and let them. Think of it as your personal challenge. Thankfully, you are showing that you are doing so.

    My question is: how will this individual feel, react/behave should the same three things touch them on a more personal level. I could only imagine the worst but hope for the best.

    I do know those who read your works love your wacky sense of humor should the plot call for it like in Jock and fear the worst of reality should they read WLINE and TCOL. And as for Names? Well, it shows the best of the two sides of you as an author.

    I hope it all works out for you, especially after that email to your pastor. I will pray for you (but I am Catholic :D so novena will be the thing) that you get over the persecution and harrassment you are going through in the hands of a supposed friend and sister of the church.


    1. Thank you JP. I think that is the thrust of my writing. Things like that HAVE touched me on a personal level and it does change a person. I hope one day I will get to meet you. :)

  4. Wade, the work you do in writing about young gay men is such a blessing. You show so many that they are not alone. My son's friend committed suicide when he was 13 because he was gay and felt like there was no one else who understood him. I WISH I had had a copy of any of your books back then to give to him. God uses all of our talents in different ways. You are serving Him by showing love for a group of people that society finds largely unlovable. You are doing a GREAT work! I am praying for you and also for clarity for the member of your congregation who really doesn't have her heart open to love everyone as Christ instructed and also your Pastor. You know how much I love you, don't forget it!

  5. I have been mostly out of touch the last two weeks and will catch up on everything I've been missing this week, but quickly wanted to say that your writing has brought me to tears on more than one occasion with the message of love and acceptance and spotlighting the pain caused by hate, cruelty, intolerance and judgment. I turned my back on organized religion long ago, a big reason was because of the hypocrisy I saw there, but I respect those who find comfort in it and hate to see what you are being put through. Hang in there. {{HUGS}}

  6. Wade, I grew up an Independent Fundamental Baptist. We were the saved of the saved. The elite of Christ etc.
    I was never around gay people, didn't know what a sodomite was ( although I thought they came from the middle east) and was for the most part a happy kid. Until puberty. Then all the protection and love I felt from my church family became fear. As suddenly I was thrust into a double life.
    I am happily married now to a wonderful man. We own a home, I write, and we own a dog.
    If I would have stayed in the IFB church, I probably wouldn't have made it.
    I would never be where I am today.
    John and I ponder the sublime constantly, he was raised a Catholic and was going to be a Jesuit Priest before the Bishop found out he was gay and railroaded him.
    So, in a way, we were both turned away from our religion....but not from our faith.
    I take comfort in this verse. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us
    God knew we were going to be gay, knew we'd get married, knew we'd create our own family.
    And still went to the Cross.
    What you write professes a humanness about us, a truth that religion doesnt like with their prebuilt notions about the world around them. What you write, challenges the thoughts of people who'e allowed themselves to stagnate thinking all the while they are the rock the church was built on.
    Christ said to love.
    Because we cannot experience love without him.
    Perhaps someday people will realize this and ditch the religion for a little bit of faith.

  7. I have the amazing pleasure to know you both as an author and as a real-life friend and sister in Christ. In all the time I've known you, I have never seen a time when you have shied away from your faith, and I love that you are able to bring that into your stories as it is very much part of who you are.

    Your stories are so much more than just gay romance. They dig deep into the heart, both the pretty and ugly parts, yet the underlying message in all of them is love. Through your openness, I believe you are a bridge between.

    I love you both for your contribution to your craft and for your friendship. I'll be praying for God's will in your life! <3

  8. Aww Wade, you are amazing. Take comfort in the love and support from your friends, family, and fans. We are here pulling for you. Your words are important and thank you for the gift you share with all of us. Love you!

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  10. As a Christian Minister I have to say I am a fan of your work and I think it is a tremendous ministry you have undertaken to tell these stories and also to reach out and touch people who have been so demonized and cast out, for no other reason than that people have no biblical education and are only familiar with the mistranslated English version of the bible. When I hear stories like this I am deeply disturbed that people like that are in church calling themselves christians. I am disturbed that anyone would think it is their business what you do in your personal or professional life. It tells me that she needs to take a good hard look at herself and reflect on herself. She needs to take the beam out of her own eye and remember that only God is qualified to judge us...that is why Christ said Judge not lest ye be judged. In doing what she has done, she has brought judgement upon herself. I want to say to you however that I have been deeply moved by your work. I have indeed found a measure of healing from it. I would also point out that if people have problems with books speaking about sex then we will have to start burning bibles since it not only speaks of sex in many various places but in fact has an entire book of erotic spiritual poetry called The Songs of Solomon. You have helped me and I will remain grateful. Your stories helped me re-frame some of my own negative experiences and those of others around me. Your work is important and I firmly believe it will touch hearts and minds and could help many people. This of course is why you are being spiritually attacked. I am only sad it is being done through people who are supposed to be part of your church family. Do not Fear though...God is with you and He loves you so much, and He will lift you up and be your defense and your aid! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...wise words to remember. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Love your God with all that you are. I want to say again....I have so enjoyed your work and I thank you for it! I hope everything works out for the highest good of all in accordance with The Divine Will! Blessed Be!

  11. What is this? Are church groups burning people at the stakes now? Why do they think they have a right to dictate over people's lives? This is exactly the kind of behavior that has turned me away from religion (and I used to be a devoted Christian, until I opened my eyes to how the people who shouldn't be judging are the ones doing the most judging - unfortunately (or not), it ruined my trust in the religion itself, because it's hard to separate it from its sometimes vile practitioners). I hope this goes well for you, Wade, because people shouldn't have to deal with this kind of drama in this day and age.

    As for your books, I've read Jock. I've said this before and I'll say it again, it's so good that I keep thinking about the scenes, especially in the tent where Ellis kept making those funny faces and Cole kept laughing. I smile just thinking about it. What I loved about that book was how you normalize being gay. Every decent human being knows that being gay is natural and that's what you've made it seem like. You also went into the struggles one might have with keeping the secret hidden, and now I know why you do that so well, because you've had to keep your books a secret from judgmental people! In 2014...

    Person who keeps giving Wade a hard time, if you're reading this, get off your high horse and stop judging people. You have no right. If you truly are religious and not just using the name of Christ to spread discrimination like some supposedly religious people do, you should know that the only one who's allowed to judge is God and it'll be done when the person who writes as Wade Kelly is no longer among the living.