Spontaneity

Spontaneity can be good, but wow it can cause stress too. The family is going on a spontaneous mini vacation to NC. It was unexpected and a huge blessing. We've been having difficulty and a vacation was probably not going to happen again this year and the children were disappointed but understood. Then a cousin calls late Tuesday night. "Hey, do you want to go to the outer banks? Our beach house is sitting there this week with no renters because of the hurricane." Um, Yeah! But dropping everything last minute and going right then wasn't happening. My husband has a job. And my youngest had a commitment I was not going to cancel because it would hurt her feelings. So, we plan to leave tonight after the commitment. She is doing an Irish Dancing demonstration at a local restaurant. It is exciting. We will drive all night and get down to NC by the break of dawn. YAY! No sleep and children who will want to swim. I guess my son is going to watch them while I sleep. So, ta-da, we are going to go to  the beach. Of course for me that means loads of preparation because it is not a vacation if I have to cook while I'm down there. I was to relax. I want to write! I want to walk on the beach and smell the salt air. I do not want to be stuck in the kitchen. That is like being at home.

Yesterday I planned the drive. I have a map and directions. (Because sometimes the GPS says "Lost satellite signal.") I researched the restaurants in the area. I fed all the animals. Paid some bills. Packed blankets and sheets. AND… I FOUND a HOUSE/DOG SITTER! I'm so glad! She is making me less tense about leaving my dogs. All the other animals are self-sufficient. As long as the house isn't burning down, they are good. This girl I know, and she lives very close. It is easy for her and relieving for me. She is only a text away.

Today I need to cook a few things to take. I have a plan. I find that planning in my head first makes everything fall together easier. Sometimes it might seem like I'm doing nothing, but as I sit and think, I can visualize what needs to be done. I'm doing this with the food. I want it to be easy. I want to make one meal ahead of time. I need to pack things to take because we will get down there at like 4 am. Unless the stores are 24hour things aren't open yet. We will be tire from driving. I need something kids can cook or make while I sleep. PLANNING!!!! So I am going to pack the rest today.

Of course, this is AFTER I go to lunch with some friends! LOL (Priorities) My friends had wanted to take me out for my birthday a few weeks ago, but not everyone could go. Today was a good date and we are all going out. This is the core crowd that I love so deeply that I sometimes cry just being near them. Yes, that woulds terribly mushy, but having LOST ALL my friends 4 years ago when they all stopped talking to me at once, it makes me appreciate the ones I have now even more. THEY LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM! They know more about me than most. I love this group of women so very much! So YES I am going out to lunch! Not canceling that for a little vacation 7+ hours south which takes place in about 14 hours. lol. Why would I do that? I am going to throw some rice on while I write, and make a list of the items  I need to buy.

I totally need to write. I am getting depressed over how long it is taking. I keep thinking of details which only make the book more complicated. I think they are necessary but still! More stuff to add. More things to write. And no time to write it! Or I waste my time, That could be too. I know I have only been writing this one since November (I think) and in the scheme of things that is relatively short compared to the ones that took 14 months or whatever, but I want it done. I have such plans, but they won't happen if one book isn't finished so I can write the next.

You know I struggle with envy and jealousy, right? I am so jealous of people who can write prolifically. I envy the constant flow of publications that keep them in the public eye. I worry so much I'll be forgotten. It might be ridiculous to think that, but I feel it all the time. And then I think, "I just need to write. One word at a time and get my book finished!" But it is easier said than done. I am not like everyone else and I struggle so much. The story is in my head, but getting stout is not easy. And then I think, maybe I'm making this one TOO complicated! I don't know. I think I have to try and write it as I feel it and see what the beta reader thinks. (If Tina is up for it in a few months.) If she says NO! then I'll reconsider how it is written.

So, yeah, I'm a little stressed over getting everything done to leave TONIGHT. I need to cook and pack and write and go to lunch. AND my dog's ear is inflamed and he might need to go to the vet. I cleaned it, but it is still red. I'll see. Never ending here.

I hope all my fans are still hanging on. Names Can Never Hurt Me has to be published sometime! I have done all the stages. I am only waiting at this point. Edits done weeks ago! Galley Proof back TWO weeks ago. Anytime now I should get vellum sheets to sign for the paperback copies. Any time now I should get a pre-buy link and a release date. WHEN??? I don't know.

So the game is still on until I receive the date. It is neat to see people are still guessing a date. The guessing game LINK is HERE. So far, 10 contestants! :) And very few people I recognize the name of. Some are randomly new and that is fun. I never know if anyone reads this blog. lol.

My book is still selling in the German market. JOCK in German is slipping on the chart, but still selling. If you know any German speakers, please recommend it around and have them check it out. There are 4 reviews in German online. :)

The Eric Arvin fund has raised over $80k but I am pretty sure that money is getting sucked away fast from the bills. He will always need our continued support and love. Pray. Donate. Stop by and leave messages on his FB.

I guess that is all for now. Love to you all!

Wade

Avoiding Facebook? Me? Nah, couldn't be.

I feel like I haven't been as active on ace book, or any social media for that matter. Why? One reason is that I've been writing. My "new years resolution" for this year (and I had the same one last year) was to write EVERY DAY. Last year at this time I wasn't "writing" I was editing The Cost of Loving, but out of 31 days in January I only edited for 21. So I missed 10 days. This year I am writing in January with a goal of being finished this book in Jan/Feb, although I think it will be done in March. IDK. But as far as my resolution goes, I have written something 13 out of 16 days of January. (Yes, I wrote some this morning too.) And in the last 8 days I have written what I consider the "goal" amount, which is something significant. (1000-2000+ words) I WOULD LOVE to write 2500 words/day. (I think I read somewhere that is Stephen King's word count goal.) But for me, 2500 is unrealistic. I have moments when the words are flying, but I haven't gotten into the habit long enough to get that much flowage consistently. I hope that will be more easily attained as I make writing a part of my daily routine.

But writing EVERY DAY is hard. I am a mom, wife, and caretaker of a zoo of animals. I run out of time in the day for ALL the things that need to be done. So far, the goal of writing SOMETHING everyday is working. (Except for those 3 days I missed.) And I have also learned, that when I am super focused I CAN write about 1000 words an hour. That is something very exciting for me. It shows me that I CAN have time for the "mom world" and the "writer world" and it doesn't take that much, just commitment. Of course, I am super slow at writing so sometimes the words are not quite flowing at 16.67 words per minute. But when they are, I can potentially write 1000, 2000, 5000 words a day! Or more!!! IF I find the right day to do that. I thought today would be such a day, but I have NO bread, I'm out of lunch meat and dishwashing detergent and there is still one day of school tomorrow, which means I need to go OUT and buy food and other items. This takes up a lll my writing time!! I hate that. But I am learning to balance my time. THIS IS GOOD!

AND SINCE I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT WHEN IT HAPPENED, I WON SOME AWARDS. (Sorry, caps lock.) My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! won the Goodreads M/M Romance Choice Awards for Best Athletes, and Best Humorous novel. 3rd place for both. This was very cool since I am always up against some steep competition.

I guess of you like my athletes, I need to write another novel with a soccer player and make it funny. Hmm??

         

Lately, when I am on FACEBOOK, it is to check Tj's status. Sometimes I don't WANT to check because I do worry about them too much. It is a roller coaster. What I want is smooth sailing. (I have my demands, God!) I want Eric to have a straight and easy road to recovery and what do I find, Incompetent doctors and posts about Eric being terrified. This makes me sad, upset, worried, frustrated… and who am I? Just a fan and fellow writer who happens to have met and talked to them both in October. I'm not in their lives, yet I feel their pain as many of you do out there. They are with us in our hearts and we all want this to go smoothly, don't we? So keep those prayers going!!! What I've seen, is that Tj Klune is probably the most protective and loving man I've witnessed. (*Witnessed from a distance, & online.) And Eric is extremely tenacious and determined. Together they are an incredible force of love and devotion. It makes me cry to read the posts Tj puts up because I wish ALL couple could feel that same amount of love in their hearts. Sadly, few do. I see way too many couples give up, move on, divorce, cheat, or whatever.

Sometimes I wonder if THAT is why people have an issue with gay marriage. Yes, they blame it on religion (blah, blah), but what if it is a subconscious jealousy over the straights' lack of commitment? IDK, I think like this sometimes. If straight people can't get it together--and oh yeah, I've seen LOTS of couples splitting--then maybe they are, without realizing it, railing against gay-marriage because they secretly worry that the gays will get it right. IDK. What do you think? I come up with crazy thoughts all the time. But what I do know, is that lately I have seen MANY gay couples talking about these milestone anniversaries. Like 19/ 20 plus years! For what I have seen in my personal life, way too many couples in know hit 12/15 and they are not he skids. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???? Not cool.

I am an advocate of marriage, of commitment, of monogamy. I believe in two people together forever. So maybe gay-marriage is God's way of giving straight people a wake-up call to show them what they forgot how to do>>>> COMMIT! Because marriage ain't easy. People are all different and living with someone day in and day out can wear you down if you are not working together. Am I always happy? Um, no. But I am in no way ready to call it quits. I want to work on it and make it better. For me and for my children.

Eric and Tj have a tough road ahead of them, but they are off to a great start because they love so deeply and so completely that it makes me jealous. I want to feel they deep sense of dire need to be with my partner. I love their LOVE. And to all the couples out there who have had a long-term commitment or marriage to the one they love --> Ken & Andy, Ryan & Tony, Rick & Bruce, Andrew & Dominic, David & Marc, Jeff & Will <-- you all are an inspiration to couples everywhere. Keep going. Show the younger generation how it's done. AND! Dare I say, show the straight non-committers how it's done!!

I guess that's all I got to say. I'm around. I've written 15,556 words this month. It is exciting and challenging and fulfilling to "live my dream" and create stories that I hope one day you will all enjoy. I hope I will be able to share an excerpt of Misplaced Affection with you soon. I do not write chronologically so sometimes there are gaps in the beginning which need to be filled in before I share. Although, I'm not so sure that Misplaced Affection has as good a beginning as Names Can Never Hurt Me. The prologue to NAMES is a killer. (hahaha) I just loved it. Misplaced Affection's prologue was written in English class. I liked it. I wrote (am writing) a story based off that beginning. Bear with me, I think it is a good story. AND it has a happy ending. I know, because I started writing the ending last night. (See, out of order.)

Remember… If you have means to give, Eric and TJ need your support. They are still in the hospital. Eric's bills do not stop, they multiply. So every dollar counts towards helping them. They're friends and family have raised $41, 685 as of right now and that is incredible!! Please keep the pot growing!! Hospitals are expensive.

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