Cover Reveal Friday

Hello. As you know there is a BIG cover reveal today. If you are looking here for MINE, you won't find it now, because I am posting for my friend whose book comes out in a couple days!

Alex Carreras has a new release coming December 17, 2014 from Wilde City Press. I am excited for him!! Here is HIS beautiful cover!

Blurb:

When Ethan Stokes returns to his family’s farm after his mother’s death, he didn’t expect the obligatory weekend visit to turn into a project that would take the entire summer to complete. He also didn’t expect to be living with Quinn Kincade, the man who Ethan shared his first kiss with back in high school. But if Ethan remembered correctly, wasn’t Quinn… straight?

Between milking cows, renovating barns, and dealing with aging fathers with strong opinions, the two men try to maneuver the best they know how, both looking for their happily ever after atop Rainbow Hill.

So please, tell Alex what you think of his fabulous cover, and visit Wilde City to buy the book on Dec 17.

As for MY wonderful new cover…. It is posted on GGR-Reviews. I will post it soon on my own pages, but for now, you need to go visit Scott Burkett and see the cover and read my excerpt about MY FLYNN! Alright, for a tease, you can see my tour banner which does have part of the cover on it ;)

Handling Criticism

This is something every writer has to learn how to do. Is it easy? NO!

When you put your creative passion into a piece of writing, it becomes "your baby." If it is a short story or long novel, those characters and setting become a part of you and are born out of you. It is like painting a piece of your soul with words and leaving it bare and exposed for all the world to step on. And they do.

Back in April I was even on a panel at Rainbow Con in Tampa where the subject was How to Handle Criticism. I'm not sure I remember every little thing I hear or talked about, but I do know that criticism hits people differently and how we handle it says a lot about us to the world.

When a writer is new and inexperienced, like maybe I was when When Love Is Not Enough came out, the desire is to see 5 star reviews. (Every writer wants 5 star reviews.) But when the 1 stars show up and the reviewer mentions specific things that you THOUGHT you explained well in the story, it is VERY easy to get swept up in second guessing everything and feeling like a failure. You may want to write to a reviewer and apologize for not explaining the scene well enough or tell them what you really meant when they took a passage completely wrong. These are the mind and body's natural responses to an "attack" on your "Baby."

Can you do these things? Sure. There is nothing wrong in and of itself to write a note to a reviewer or blogger or whatever, but be mindful of what you say. Be kind. For one, the reader, whether a professional reviewer or not, cannot see inside your head. They also do not possess your memories and experiences or upbringing. Every reader comes at a novel with their own prejudices, pains, history, and pretense. And if they took a scene or conversation between characters differently than you intended, it COULD be them, not you. Just because people don't like a particular character, doesn't mean you failed in writing him/her well. Maybe the quirks in your mind were endearing, but to the reader they were a turn off. Not your fault. We are all attracted to different things and turned off by different things. Your job as a writer is to deliver the very best story you can give.

Does this happen in the first try? For some, yes, but for most--rarely! Shaping a magnificent story takes time and experience. More often then not, writers change over time and their writing evolves. Though, I should say, GOOD WRITERS SHOULD.  Some people are the way they are and don't seem to change. It is what it is. But if you have a successful career with the voice and talent you have, then why change what ain't broken? Right?

People in general are always changing. The world around us changes and normally those who adapt survive longer than those who don't.

What you need to do is to be passionate about what you are doing. If you don't like it, then you need to try to change it. Painters who get stuck in one mode get bored. Musicians reach for that next difficulty level to wow their listeners. And writers need to push boundaries of creative technique so they aren't lulling the readers into a sleepy coma. But again, if your cookie-cutter novels make you a living and you love it, then why change for fear of loosing that good thing.

For people like me who are not content with one standard format, I say PUSH BOUNDARIES!

As far as talking to bloggers and reviewers, keep in mind, they have their opinions the same as you have yours. We are all different. If you write a letter, be kind. Ask questions. Don't be defensive. And if you say something like, "Wow, I never thought about that scene like that. I meant _____, because I experienced _____ in the past and that is where this scene came from." You rationalize it, you explain, and if you get no response… LEAVE IT BE!

NEVER. ARGUE. WITH. ANYONE.

Arguing, especially on Goodreads, or on THEIR OWN BLOG, is rude and will not do well for your reputation. On the other hand, being kind and gracious as you state your case can go a long way in the future.

On the panel I was on, they discussed this in reference to talking to editors. The consensus was that you should be able to tell your editors what you think. BUT, never be mean. Be kind. Sometimes, there is a clash of personalities and you may be given a different editor for the next project. If you don't ask for fear of approaching them, you will never know. Don't be afraid, just speak your mind in kindness. DON'T BURN BRIDGES!

The worst part about criticism is internalizing it. It is way to easy to let EVERY LITTLE COMMENT hurt you personally. As a parent, I know that I want everyone to love my children like I do. Realistically, that isn't possible. There will always be someone who just doesn't like my son, or daughter, or other daughter. In comparison, my novel is "My BABY." I want to whole world to love my story and my characters with the same passion that I do. Realistically, that is impossible! Too many readers out there with too many differing opinions and personalities to like ALL THE SAME THINGS AS I DO!  Not going to happen.

So when those big old 1 star reviews roll in and people everywhere BASH your favorite characters and  post things about "how you can't write and you are better off changing careers," remember a couple things:

1. They could have had a bad day and took out ALL their frustration on YOU. It happens.

2. If it is your editor, they COULD have read twelve other books that week and yours was last right before the weekend. Long work weeks can make cranky people. (For all of us.)

3. Maybe they lived some of the things you wrote about and you pushed their buttons. Anger and pain come out in different ways. Your 1 star review and lashing might be because you wrote the story SO WELL you hurt the reader. Stranger things have happened.

4. Maybe you didn't write the best story you could? Maybe you really DO NEED a refresher course on grammar and sentence structure and characterization. Well then, DO IT! Go take a class somewhere. Everyone can use some sharpening up. If you do nothing to better yourself, then you will never know if it is YOUR skills (or lack thereof) or the reader's oversensitivity.

5. Or maybe they have a different background than you and what you wrote seemed completely unbelievable. They say reality is stranger than fiction. Well, for some, fiction is stranger than any reality they have been through. If readers can't connect on some level, then they most likely will not like it. But , yay for writers, there are billions of readers out there to come around and love us in time.

6. Sometimes, people just have nothing better to do than bash others. This also happens. Take the hits. Smile. And walk away. Don't let them steal your joy because they hated what you wrote.

I cannot please everyone. Believe me, I have tried. There will always be someone who hates what I do, or doesn't even try to understand it. I write gay romance. If you don't know, homosexuality is NOT openly accepted everywhere in the world, and writing gay literature is almost as bad, to some, as BEING gay. This is changing, and some places are accepting, but not everywhere. Not yet. 

I have said this before. I voted for gay marriage. I support the Human Rights Campaign, and if NOH8 was in town, you'd see me lined up to get my photo taken by Adam Bouska. (Or WITH him. He's so cute!)  

I write what I write because I want to change the world. I want people to live in peace and not die from hatred and despair. I want suicide over bullying and harassment to disappear. I want kids to know they are loved for who they are. I want parents to stop throwing kids out because they are LGBT and just LOVE them because they are children and all children need love!

I say START by loving people.

Where that ties in with criticism is when you are the subject of it, let it roll off. DON'T ingest it! Try to make a difference in your world, wherever you are, by showing kindness to people who don't (In your opinion) deserve it. And like the picture says… DON'T LET THE WORLD CHANGE YOUR SMILE!

LOVE AND HUGS!

Wade

Coming SOON!!!

Where I was, where I am, where I'm going.

I know it sounds like a broken record when I keep talking about the same things. I don't mean to, but it is what it is and this is where my life and choices have led me. When I started writing in 2006 I had no idea where my writing would lead. I sat down and wrote, and for the first time I had a complete story. (a sci-fi trilogy) That changed over time after joining Authonomy in 2008. In 2009 I wrote a paranormal, gay, romance and it was PUBLISHED in 2010. And then things happened in 2010…. I see it as a good thing now. I do. It was NOT fun to go through, but had I not experienced what I did, then When Love Is Not Enough would not have been written. That story, one which includes suicide within the story of a gay romance, has touched so many people. Probably not hundreds, definitely not thousands, but some. I think those people are worth the pain I went through. Books MEAN SOMETHING to readers when the readers connect on a deep level and relate to the characters. If I helped someone work through personal pain because they could see themselves AS my character (which happened because many people have said that and continue to), then I think my book is successful. I will not get rich in a monetary means writing about suicide. I WILL NOT. But I succeeded in string the emotions of many people and caused them to think. That is one of my goals as a writer: I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK!

And then I moved on… I wrote about church persecution in The Cost of Loving, hate crimes in My Roommate's A Jock? Well, Crap!, and labeling, bullying and name-calling in Names Can Never Hurt Me. And in Misplaced Affection I talk about child abuse and grief. I want to STIR the reader's thoughts to consider the way we live and the things we say and do. I cannot change people, just as no one can CHANGE me. But if I present material that makes a person pause and consider their actions, or the actions of others thrust upon them, or their choices, or how they feel about circumstances out of their control etc., then I think that is a WIN for me. I want my words to matter.

So my thoughts for those who disagree with my content is to PRAY FOR MY WORDS. I have always asked that. By demanding I CHANGE, you do get any anywhere. You are a sounding gong. Get to know me. See my heart. Become involved with WHY I write what I do. If you continue to disagree then we can discuss it. Sex in literature is currently on the table by MANY groups, including romance groups. IS IT NECESSARY OR NOT? Romance novels drive the industry. Without ROMANCE NOVELS, books sales would die. I forget the statistic I learned in a seminar, like 60% or something crazy! WHY? Because the audience or "target group" of middle-aged women in general is the largest group of people who suck in books and drive the market. (don't quote me, but I think I'm close to what the guy from Smashwords said.) Most romance novels contain sexual content. Some more than others. In publishing, you have to have a "target" audience in mind. For YEARS that is why a genre-crossing novel could not be published. Until maybe 5 years ago, I think, to query agents with a novel that CROSSED genres was basically futile. Traditional publishers don't like CROSSING genres because they don't know how to market it. If you can't market something, you can't sell it. NOW, there are indie publishers that snatch them up. Horror-Romance? Sci-fi/mystery, GAY/romance, paranormal romance, etc… mix them up. Readers are finding what they like because the choices are broader.
I wrote gay, paranormal romance in 2009 because I had a specific audience (person) in mind. He knows who he is. I didn't really plan it ahead, it fell together and BAM! was good enough to get published! Publishing is NOT an easy thing for those who don't know.

So, I'm published and then all hell breaks loose in 2010 and I get depressed etc… I turn to WHY and what this was all over. I wrote GAY characters. How dare I? Um, because I had a gay friend. I wrote something HE could relate to. I was writing for the specific audience. That is what an author does. But after all the hoopla over it being because I wrote a GAY character, and after EVERYONE I knew stopped talking to me, I thought about it. I thought about how harsh people are with homosexuals to the point of some thinking "God hates Gays!" (the Westboro Baptist mantra) Why wouldn't they? (I thought) I wasn't even gay and people LEFT a restaurant after I walked in. People stopped talking to me, and they shook their heads in pity, over what? A book? I am not even gay and this is how I was treated. So I wrote about suicide. Not because I felt suicidal, but because the story God gave me (yes, I believe my stories come from God) was one of pain and condemnation over sexuality to the point of the character taking his own life. He realized his mother would NEVER love him for who he was and ended it. Ironically, in 2010 after this book was basically complete and submitted, 7 people killed themselves around the country over being bullied for sexuality in school. YOUNG PEOPLE! I saw this as a sign. I do. I still do. Every time I question whether or not I should continue writing gay romance stories, something else tragic hits the news.

My target audience is made up partially by gay men. Gay young men. Teens and younger 20 somethings suck up books just as much as middle aged women. Now that there are GAY romances out there, this younger generation is finding characters they can relate to. Some stories provide hope that life can be better than being confined to a basement because your parents see you as an embarrassment. Life can get better than your parents throwing you out at the age of 15 because you came out as LGBT. These are basically "throw away kids" because many are "religious" families who can't bear having a gay member so it is easier to throw them out. What teen is capable of living on the street, I ask you? NONE!

Like it or not, they also end up having sex or selling themselves in to prostitution because they have nothing else. Writing SAFE SEX could help someone pause and think about their actions. Maybe. Writing a character that is raped after a random internet hook-up MAY make someone think, oh, I never thought about that before. Maybe I shouldn't go. Heck, even women I know where warned about dating a boy they'd just met because they could rape them. Kids don't' think about that! Writing real life situations makes readers aware!

Will I always write sex? Probably not. Will I always write gay romance? probably not. Why do I say that? Because my mind and creativity is driven by my characters. I can not believe that I am so limited as to never write anything else. I have a VAST imagination. In time, I can see all kinds of characters and worlds coming out! I have HUGE dreams and MANY ideas of what I can write. One story at a time. One theme at a time!

I believe that God is sovereign over everything. I believe I have something to say that is important to the people who read my stories and that is why God has allowed me the privilege of writing and publishing them. When God's direction changes, my stories will change. Until then, I will write what I think is meaningful to the world I live in NOW.

My stories reflect the world as I see it, and as I live it. These are MY thoughts and my experiences. I do not hear someone else's story and write it. That is their story to tell. I tell my own.

That said….. Some know, some don't…. I was asked to stop teaching youth because of the content of my stories. What I see as literary device is not seen the same by the leadership of the church. Not teaching youth is very sad. But, I am at peace with it. I see it as a business decision. Any church would probably have to "cover their butt" in case someone found out I wrote gay romance novels and then blamed me for why their son was gay. (Because I MAKE people gay. -That's a joke.) These kids will be fine. They have other's to teach them. I am still friends with them and it is not like I have disappeared off the face of the Earth. I am still there for them. But I am also there for people like Sam, who didn't have a Christmas tree until he was 19 yrs old. Or had his first Thanksgiving Dinner with a loving group of friends at 18, because his family was not so nice. My heart goes out to people like that. The kids I know have wonderful families. The kids that are out there, in the world around me, have not so nice experiences. I want to write for and encourage THEM! These "throw away kids" are the ones who need to see there is HOPE in the world when all they experience might tell them the opposite.

And to the others in my "target audience", they also need to think sometimes too. Older men and women shape the lives of these younger folks. Help them! Encourage them! Guide them! Don't throw them out because you can't "deal with a gay member of the family"! These are people! People need love and there is a short supply out there sometimes.

So yeah, pray for my words, because I want to change the world!

Inspiration

Lots of thoughts running through my mind as I write this post. It has been a while since I posted and I am sorry. I know some of you don't care what I write as long as I write something and I have let you down in that regard. Partially because I don't know who is reading my thoughts and who will give me a hard time for them. THEY ARE MY THOUGHTS.  I should be able to express my own opinions on MY blog without repercussions, but that is not true in reality sometimes.

I WOULD have posted last week for Thanksgiving, but time got away from me. I had a nice day. I did. I made a pie from Brad's recipe and that was fun. (picture here.) My husband smoked a turkey so I had less cooking to do. I made mashed potatoes and stuffing, ham, and gravy, and the other guests (17 in all) brought other things. We had lots of food!

I've been quiet also because of some challenges in my life. Many of you know there have been discussion with the pastor. That is still ongoing, although now more people know stuff and I am not sure how that is going to effect me mentally. Things are being said about me at church, and although I was told "not to say anything yet" because the "facts" are not known, some one said something to my husband on Sunday. Hey, if things are being said to him, then I am saying something HERE. This is MY life after all.

I posted a small note on the "Wade Brigade" because I didn't want to make a BIG DEAL out of it. Last time I posted about the woman at my church, it was followed by hundreds of comments and messages. While that is amazing and encouraging, it was also overwhelming and some comments seemed to be at odds with others and I do not like to cause a fight among my fans and friends. I posted on a small scale so people could think and pray for me. Beth sent me the picture above. Matt sent me the picture below. ME? An inspiration? I guess I don't often see why, but I am flattered and humbled by their thoughts.

I inspire MATT?????? Um, dude, YOU inspire ME. Actually, Sam-I-Am is one of the most amazing people online. I thinkMatt & Brad's blog in general is FULL of inspiration and wisdom. Sam has overcome and worked through so much adversity that he seriously DOES encourage me with his positivity. For people I have never actually met, I do love these boys and look forward to the things they say every week. I don't always read the posts, (I admit, I miss many), but I DO enjoy even the painful posts. They post from their hearts and I appreciate the honesty. This next picture is also stolen from that blog :p

It is a difficult thing not to give into bitterness and cynicism when I strive to be positive and joyful, but things come by that want to steal that joy. When I told my husband some of what has been going on his comment was, "I told you years ago people would not understand and would disagree with you." He also said something about not having dreams and aspirations. My response was "I DO have dreams! I DO have aspirations! I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD!" But how do I do that?

Well, I don't know. I think it is one step at a time, one book at a time, one concept at a time. What got me in trouble? I wrote SEX along the way. Oh, yeah, I wrote GAY SEX along my journey of "changing the world" and that is poo-pooed upon in my church. I suppose sex is poo-pooed upon in MANY churches so it isn't a shock. The reasoning, I get. I do. I understand where they are coming from and I see their "discipline" as a business decision. The discipline I speak of is being removed from teaching youth. I'm a liability. In the church I went to years ago, I was considered the reason that 3 boys were gay. Me. I turned them gay. Um, yeah…. Sorry, but that is incorrect and an unfounded assumption since none of them knew I wrote any gay material while they were in my youth group. The time frame over lapped and the leadership assumed, which was their way of shifting blame. But that is neither here nor there as it was years ago. I've moved on. Or at least I have tried.

Back to sex…. Why do I chose to write it into my stories? I see it as a literary device. (Note: the church does not.) My stories are all character driven. As the plot unfolds and sex seems necessary to move things along and progress the relationship of the characters, I write sex. Do I need to be so explicit? Um, I guess not. This is a topic of debate in many author groups, actually. Is writing sex necessary? There are people who don't even like explicit sex in stories. I know some authors who actually hate writing it. So why do it? Well, this is the actually debate. Some think the genre calls for it. SO MANY romance novels have sex. Probably most. IDK. Would that change your view if I stopped? If some of your favorite authors stopped? IDK. Why do you read certain stories? Is it for the sex or the story? I would hope that mine are read for the story. 

I think my writing is changing over time. When Love Is Not Enough, as well as The Cost Of Loving, had a LOT more sex than recent novels. Why? Matt Dixon was a slutty guy. His random hook-ups drove his life for many years. He doesn't just STOP that behavior without reason and explanation. And Darian? Well, he became a sex-addict to overcome pain. Nick Jones was also a slut and I changed his character over time. He became monogamous as did Matt. Why DO I write these things? For the same reason stories are stronger when the story is shown, not told. I believe in ONE person, not promiscuity. I write MY BELIEFS  in my books. I would think most authors do as it is from their mind and heart. I write about myself, my beliefs, and my views. Why? Because I want to change the world!!

I want people to find love and commit to one relationship. I want people to find hope and feel peace. I want the youth, especially, to realize they are not alone in their struggles and not give up in their fight to live and BE themselves. I feel like a sounding gong repeating myself over and over. I've said all this before. I WANT TO BRING HOPE TO THE WORLD. 

I think on some level the pastor gets that. It is the GAY SEX in my books that is the issue.

Will I change that? Um, no. I write the stories that come to mind. If these stories for some reason happen in the recesses of my imagination WITHOUT sexual content, then yes, I will. I write stories that are relevant to our times. I write about LIFE as I see it. I write about the pain I see and the real struggles people go through. It is CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE because that is the definition of contemporary. I think the sex is relevant. Relevant because so many out there have experienced these types of pain. I hate to think readers relate because they've been raped, or molested in some fashion, but they do. I am so sorry for that. :( I hate to think that people relate because they know someone who has committed suicide or tried to commit suicide themselves, but it does happen. And perhaps, some relate because they were that guy (I write gay men) who sold themselves into prostitution or had many internet hook-ups, not realizing until later in life that they DID have a choice, and they DID feel empty giving themselves to countless, nameless faces. (OR, maybe you disagree and you are perfectly fine and happy in the type of life you lead.) This is MY blog, however, and I post MY opinions and thoughts. I write about they sexual situations so that YOU can consider them before doing something you may regret.

So, as Matt's picture says, I will try to STAY STRONG in my beliefs and stick to my convictions. I am convicted to write things readers understand and relate to. My target audience (in publisher-speak) is NOT the pastor, nor is it the people in my church. (I don't think.) But who knows? Maybe there are people in my church struggling with their sexuality and how empty they feel in meaningless sex. Well, my advice is STOP. Meaningless sex is not the answer! … And now I am getting all philosophical…. sorry. Just go read my books. :p

I write about current events and controversial things. Bullying, name-calling, suicide, rape, child abuse, meaningless sex, the dangers of unprotected sex, how it feels to be kicked out by your parents (Corey), or hated by your parents over sexuality (Jimmy). Matt deals with the reaction of his church in relation to his sexuality, as does my new character Zach. Zach Mitchell, in fact, deals with LOTS of things! 

So yeah, PRAY FOR MY WORDS. I do believe they come from God because they are stories that need to be told. If you disagree with them, or the content, pray my inspiration and content changes. I don't do things quickly. I consider my words carefully. I want the stories to make a strong impact on my readers. I think they have.

I have also said before, if I wanted to write for popularity or riches, they I wouldn't write these stories. I could write cookie-cutter plots they contained LOTS of sex and were relatively fluffy. If I wrote 4-5 of those type a year, I could probably tell my husband to stop working, I've got the bills covered! But no, I don't. I am a poor artist writing what I think is meaningful and relevant to impacting the world for good, not just simple entertainment. I hope my books entertain, but hope they mean more than that.

For the record, in case my church folks are reading and somewhat stalking me online….

1. I do believe in Christ as my savior. Sorry, if you don't see the fruit you wish to see, but I believe my life has changed greatly in the last couple years. My faith has grown tremendously, and it sadness me that you cannot that God is influencing my life decisions. 

2. Although I think I agree with 95% of the doctrine at my church, I do think I disagree with that 5%. I am NOT repulsed by homosexuals. I do not recoil from gay sex. Everyone has sex. It is a part of life. Gay men, have gay sex. It is what it is, and I am in no way sickened by it. If you disagree, then don't read it. Or, better yet, pray for my words. If you truly believe in God, then believe He can influence my opinions. Only God knows my heart. Can't you trust God is working in it?

3. I stand for Human Rights. I voted for gay marriage. And I would have had my picture taken by Adam Bouska, but the NOH8 campaign hasn't been in my area for many years. When they are, I WILL!

4. I am proud of my writing. Sex or no sex. I think my words matter. I think I am learning to write more eloquently as time goes on. I believe my next release is the most beautiful story I've written. I'm sorry for those who cannot see the love I have for people, because they stumble over the sexual content in my books. They sexual content IS changing. It is. But mainly because the stories demand certain literary expressions. Sex is a literary device of human experience. 

5. I write about myself. Although that may be difficult to see or believe, I do. These are MY THOUGHTS and experiences presented in fictional characters and situations. Gay or straight, people all experience pain and laughter in life. I write it.

6. I am seeing that this is a small part of being a public figure. Persecution and moral disagreements will happen because we are all wired with different beliefs and ideals. Just as readers will be angry and post some horrible reviews, so will people in my personal life. If this is the way it will be, then I will take the ridicule. As my new tattoo reminds me, I trust "in Christ alone." Yes, religious as it may be to some, I have come to understand that only God does not change. People disappoint, but in my opinion, God does not. And I have been given FREEDOM in Christ to live out my faith by the grace He has given me. As an author, I am in the public eye often. I hope to live up to being a gracious and loving person to all. I need to work there because I am NOT loving to all. I am cynical and bitter often. I pray that God will shape my heart to let go of the bitterness.

7. I am learning to let go of FEAR. There is very little to fear anymore. I feared people "finding out" and judging me over my writing. Well, here it is. And yes, they are judging me. My writing juxtaposes the life they see me living. Hmmm. Maybe it is because I "feared" too long and for many years lived a double life like Jimmy Miller. My life is almost one complete whole now, and the fear is slipping away because I am all exposed. 

I think this reinforces what I have often pondered in blog posts about relating and empathizing with my readers. Especially they gay ones. Lucien told me that I possibly understand now what it feels like to "come out" because of the way I am being and have been treated. I cannot imagine the fear and pain of coming out, but if this is close, then I just want to hug all of you who have. It is not easy AT ALL to live open in who you are. I am not gay, and yet I am judged so quickly and easily. How much more pressure and harshness do you face every day? I respect your ability to STAY STRONG. Matt… I salute you. Sam, I adore you. Your words bring meaning to my life.

I write what I think the world needs to hear. I will not back down, because without my voice, and my HURRICANE rushing in, would the dark places of world be too quiet? (reference to my husband calling me a hurricane.) I believe I have been created for a purpose. I believe writing is my gift from God. I didn't train for it. I didn't do well in school in English. I was a math major. Writing just happened one day. In 2006. 

Join me in my journey. It is an interesting adventure for sure.

My next book comes out in 4 weeks and 3 days. It is a mini history lesson about my town. as well as the struggles in life of three friends. Each with their own piece of the puzzle to tell. I hope you like it. It is LONG. I could have cut it into 2 stories, but then readers don't like cliff-hangers so I decided on ONE whole story in ONE novel. A long novel! I'll keep you posted as things in my life happen. I'm sorry for long silences. I forget sometimes that I have people out there who do care about me and miss my posts.

Hugs to you all.

Wade

My newest tattoos:

Freedom is in my daughter's handwriting. :)

Friend Fridays - Bronwyn Heeley

Hi everyone I’m Bronwyn Heeley, and am over the moon that Wade let me on her blog. Seriously, fan girling all over the place here. So thank you so much.

*Wade grins in the background, and thinks, "Thank you. You are very sweet." (Note: I have never met Bronwyn, but in the spirit of trying to keep Friend Fridays alive, she has stopped by!)

With this moment I’m going to tell you about my latest release, it’s called Love Without Knowing It and is about prostate cancer, though don’t let that have you shying away, I’ve written it in a way that is more about awareness. I made it light, with a happily ever after. I didn’t want to take a disease that kills more men in our lives than it should in this day and age, and just have you pause and think of a moment.

The thing is, if caught early it can be treated, and you can live though to have a perfectly normal life. Yeah things may be slightly different, but what isn’t when you run up against cancer, it’s about changing and moving forward.

Yet, I completely understand the fear of what might happen if it’s true. The testing for prostate cancer is still years behind, and even though you can get a blood test now to see if it’s there or not (and I’m not joking, it’s just a little blood) the rest can get harder and more painful the longer you leave it off.

For this reason and to help the only way that I could, I have written this book, and thought the month of November I will be giving all profits to the Movember charity. A charity that not only puts money into early detection and easier ways to cure, but also reaches out over the whole list of male health, including mental, with support groups, and other such events, all in the name of helping men realise they are allowed to get sick, and that’s okay.

If you wish to learn more about the Movember charity here are the links

Australia: http://au.movember.com/

USA: http://us.movember.com/

UK: http://uk.movember.com/

Canada: http://ca.movember.com/

Now onto some good stuff with an excerpt, and I’d just like to remind you all, that this is a sweet, HEA short story.

Excerpt:

Early the next morning Paul met Matt out the front of his apartment block. He’d been lucky to get there early or he would have missed Matt completely.

They walked to the doctor’s in a weird sort of silence, emotion dancing around them; no need for words, or gratitude, or small talk. Shifting his eyes to Matt, they shared a look and a bump or two of their shoulders as they went towards the scariest building Paul had ever seen.

The thing was, he wished more than anything they were not here at all. He wished they were still both home curled up in bed together, in their morning glory.

The waiting room was like every other one Paul had ever sat in. He tried to appear perfectly calm as he sat next to Matt, waiting. Waiting. Fucking waiting for a name, one name in particular, but when Matt’s name was called out, he suddenly wanted to grab him up and run like crazy. His heart didn’t want to be doing this, all he wanted was for Matt and him to run so fast none of this could catch up with them.

The waiting fear was so consuming he had trouble sitting still. His legs kept shifting nervously. He couldn’t stop looking at all the other sick people in the room. Why were they here? What would it be like if he was in Matt's shoes? Would he be as calm, or would he have started to rant and rave? Hell, knowing himself, Paul would have been on his deathbed before he came to any doctor.

There was definitely no beauty pageant happening in this doctor’s surgery. Why were these people here, what was wrong with them? They didn’t look like they had been run over by a truck or anything, so what was wrong with them? Were any of them dying of cancer and you just couldn’t see it?

Leaning back in his chair, Paul pushed the thought away while fear of the unknown settled to the bottom of his stomach.

He tried to pick something to read, finally settling on an old magazine that had seen better days. Realistically, it probably held more germs than if he’d decided to lick a handrail. He couldn’t concentrate worth shit. What was wrong with the minute hand on the clock? It ticked by, slowly—so fucking slowly.

Then suddenly time was up. Matt walked out.

Paul didn’t need to ask Matt how it went with the doctor. He could see it in his face as soon as he walked out from the back of the surgery and up to the counter to pay. Something was definitely wrong. All Paul could see was his pale-as-shit face. Everything inside him froze. He took a deep calming breath, stood up, and unknowingly became Matt’s rock.

Paul took his time crossing the room as Matt finished paying and making another appointment. It seemed as if Matt was holding on by the skin of his teeth, and the last thing he needed was Paul going up to him, standing there, commenting on something he was clearly trying to hide.

They met at the door. Paul arrived first, silently opening it for him. Matt smiled, not saying anything, just fiddling with the papers in his hands, so many unspoken emotions running across his shocked face.

The door clicked shut. Paul blinked in surprise at the sounds of the world speeding by, as if everything was still normal, still working. “So…?”

“So?” Matt echoed, as if he didn’t know what Paul was talking about. As if Paul wasn’t dying—pun not intended—to know what was happening, what was wrong.

“What next?” he asked instead.

Matt cleared his throat as he looked down at his hands, but Paul saw the sad smile tilting the side of his mouth. He tried not to see fear in Matt’s eyes and he defiantly clamped down his jaw and didn’t ask any questions. He couldn’t push, mostly because he didn’t have any right to know what the doctor had said. If he had, he would have been in the room with Matt…

“Blood test,” he said lifting up the paper to emphasise.

“Okay, do you need an appointment, or can we just go?”

Matt shrugged. “Doc said if I went right away there shouldn’t be any problems.”

He was right, of course. This early in the morning, there was only an elderly lady and a pregnant sheila who had an overly excited toddler she was trying to keep quiet. The thing was, no one there cared about the rowdy little girl. To him it was distracting. It took his mind off what they were there for, or rather, what Matt was there for. She giggled and laughed, asking silly question he could barely understand, but couldn’t help smiling with the answers.

“Can you come in with me?” Matt asked unexpectedly, nervously licking his lips. When Paul got to his eyes he saw a look of pure fear staring back at him, the kind that was normally reserved to having a spider crawl up your neck.

Paul swallowed back a laugh. “Sure.”

Matt’s relief was a little too much to bear. “Thanks,” he sighed, “I really hate needles.”

“Hate?” Paul smiled, because the description Matt was looking for was scared as all fuck.

“Yeah,” Matt nodded, smiled. It lightened the mood for a moment even if it wasn’t really funny, but more relief at not being left alone while he was being stabbed with needles.

Paul felt this weird little lift in his shoulders, a pride at being let in without having to ask.

“He said that this should tell if it’s cancer or not,” Matt said softly after a long pause.

“That it? You don’t have to get cut up or nothing?”

Matt shrugged. “Apparently a blood test will tell us if it’s cancer or not.”

“Really?” It was asked as fact more than a question. “So that’s it then, just a blood test?”

“Well, for the moment. Because of the amount of swelling, and the fact that it hasn’t quite stopped me pissing yet—oh, and I’m young. He said it could be an infection, but…”

Yeah…, He’d never actually known anyone with prostate cancer, but from what he’d gathered it was the go-to disease, especially for men with a prostate the size of a plum. He hoped he was wrong, but his imagination was already running riot, and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that they were dealing with the worst.

“Yeah,” Matt sighed, a little calmer from sitting beside Paul, even if the death grip on Paul’s thigh gave him away…

They stayed sitting liked that as the elderly woman and then the mother went in and had their blood taken. They stayed connected that way as other people came and went. It seemed to take forever for their turn, and yet when Matt’s name finally got called it was as if only moments had passed.

Matt tensed up like a plank, and Paul tried not to laugh as he took his baby in to get his blood taken.

Bio & social links:

Bronwyn is always wants to be a what you see is what she is, kinda person, but she’s not sure if she truly wants to succeed in that area. mostly because the voices in her head, the ones that come out so well on paper aren’t as well behaved in her head, and she’s a mother now, she’s got to hold something form or sanity.

If you’d like to learn more about me, and the books I write, my links are:

Blog: www.bronwynheeley.blogspot.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bronwyn.heeley.5

or on Facebook:  www.facebook.com/beeheeley

Twitter: www.twitter.com/bronwynheeley

Tumblr: www.unrandom-randomness.tumblr.com

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/beeheeley/

Goodle+: plus.google.com/111764061256840145439

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7731616.Bronwyn_Heeley

Thanks to all the Friend Friday guests so far. Sue Brown, Jeff Adams, Gregory Payne,  Chris Shirley, Tammy Middleton,  DS Kenn,  Whitley Gray, and Felice Stevens.