Hello,
I finally have my cover for My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! I love it! I also love that Cole is wearing my shirt! hehhehee
What do you think?
It’s easy to become cynical when life never goes your way.
And then have the bit... Cole Reid has been a social recluse since he was fifteen, when he was outed by his high school baseball team. Since then, his obsessive-compulsive behavior and sarcastic nature have driven away most of the population, and everyone else hates him because he’s gay. As he sees it, he’s bound to repulse any prospective friends, let alone boyfriends, so why bother?
By the time Cole enters college, he’s become an anal-retentive loner—but it’s not a problem until his roommate graduates and the housing department assigns Ellis Montgomery to move in with Cole. Ellis is messy, gorgeous, straight, and worst of all, a jock!
During a school year filled with frat buddies, camping expeditions, and meddling parents, Cole and Ellis develop a friendship that turns Cole’s glass-half-empty outlook on its head. There must be more to Ellis than a fun-loving jock--and maybe Cole’s reawakening libido has rekindled his hope for more than camaraderie.
I don't have a link to DSP yet. It is not listed as a "coming soon" until it actually has a final draft of the MS. When I KNOW the release date, I will tell you!
BUT.... Can I get away with an excerpt release? Maybe....
Excerpt from My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap!
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
A World in Decay
Someone told
me I’m a cynical fatalist, but I prefer the term realist. I guess I tend to see things of this world in a slow
process of decay, either from a scientific perspective—since I’m a physics
major—or from personal experience. The way I see it, that guy Murphy had it
right every time. Do you know him? He’s the one who wrote Murphy’s Law: “If
anything can go wrong, it will.” It’s actually a quote of the fourth law of
thermodynamics, and the originator is unknown. (I read that on Wikipedia, but
that’s beside the point.)
The long and
short of it is, things go wrong in my life—always have.
It should
not have surprised me when my roommate of the past three years decided to
graduate and move to Texas with his girlfriend. The nerve of him! Jonathan was
the best roommate ever. He was neat, and quiet, and never had sex on the
couch—that I know of. He tolerated my quirks and always made me tea on Sunday
mornings.
I
miss him.
The summer
was boring after he left.
Who was
going to play canasta with me? Or build puzzles? Or realize that I needed
chocolate as I studied for every test whether I asked for it or not?
I trudged
around campus in a state of despair for days after he left.
Okay, I
realize that the term “days” doesn’t make me sound very hopeless, but being the
realist that I am made me see that milling around with my chin resting on my
chest was only going to get me run over if I happened to miss the sidewalk and
wander into traffic. I moped for an appropriate amount of time and then typed
up a flyer for the campus bulletin board: “Roommate Wanted.”
I never
needed to find a roommate before.
Back when I enrolled at this college,
Jonathan Keys practically stumbled over me in the housing line. The college had
just acquired three more single-family homes on the edge of campus grounds and
opened them for occupancy. First come, first serve. There was a minimal
upcharge over regular dorm fees, but the perks were worth it. Guidelines for tenancy
were minimal as long as the house was maintained properly—which basically meant
that if you trashed it, you got kicked out—but otherwise, those who lived there
governed themselves. No RA! (Resident Assistant for those not aware of
dorm-speak.)
Awesomenicity!
The house I
was “lucky” enough to make it into had six bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room,
a dining room, and three baths. Four of the other guys assigned to the same
residence were sports fanatics and one was a math major. I loathe jocks! Not
that you can lump all sports guys together and assume they know everything
about sports, but my point is, I had nothing in common with those guys. Jon was
the math major.
We made it
through one semester of parties and hooting at the television during football
season before a suite in a neighboring house opened up. Jon knew the housing overlord
and requested the suite before it was open to the general (college) public. It
was so much nicer!
This house
was two houses down the street, so moving was a breeze. The layout was also
different from most campus housing. Instead of one floor of bedrooms and then living
space on the bottom floor, this unit had three floors of two bedrooms and
living space combined. I wasn’t sure about the efficiency of that design;
perhaps it was three rental apartments at one time before the campus purchased
it. I didn’t know.
Whatever the
explanation, Jon and I had it made! The top floor was just ours—two bedrooms,
one bath, a kitchen, and a living area to share.
And then my
buddy Jonathan graduated in May.
It was the
worst day of my life.
I kind of
didn’t mention to anyone that I was living alone at this point because if I
did, the housing department would peruse the list of “standby” students and
assign someone to my perfect little corner of the campus. I wanted to avoid
that. I thought if I advertised in places that promised interesting
prospects—i.e., the physics building and the library—then I would hopefully
avoid the types of people I dreaded living with: jocks! Ahem. *clears throat*
The plan was
going okay, I guess. I had a few guys call me up, but I was looking for someone
who reminded me of Jon—someone smart and funny, and who didn’t care if I
watched History Channel on Friday night. Two guys inquired. I just didn’t feel
right saying yes.
In
retrospect, I should have at least met with them instead of shooting them down
over the phone, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I was still moping about Jon
moving. I was about to put up another flyer in the electronics lab when the
housing director stopped me. “Isn’t there an opening in your building?”
I looked up,
bewildered, blinking as the sun burned into my retinas. “Um….” I hesitated.
“Who’s asking?”
He gave me a
look that told me I shouldn’t be so stupid. “I am, Cole. You know I need to
fill that space as soon as possible. You should’ve contacted me weeks ago. You
know there’s a list at least fifty students long who would love to live in
those houses instead of the dorms.”
“It’s not my
fault he moved out early.”
“Cole.”
I sighed and
scuffed my shoe on the ground. Of course I knew he was right. “Sorry. I guess I
was stalling. Do you think I could look for my own roommate?” I gave him the
most pathetic pout I could muster and tipped my head to the side. I hoped he
would give in. My pathetic look always worked on my mom. The term “puppy-dog
eyes” didn’t hold a candle to my expression. Of course he caved.
“Okay—but
only because you keep the neatest apartment on campus. God help me if I
assigned someone who messed up your routine and dropped Cheetos on the carpet.”
I smiled and
said heartily, “Thanks, Stan. You’re the best!”
“But, Cole,
I can only give you six weeks to decide on someone. By August 15 the other
bedroom in your apartment needs to be filled. Got it?”
I cringed
internally. I hated deadlines. I know, I have them all the time with projects
and exams, but having a deadline that was not school related made me nervous.
“August 15, got it!” I assured Stan the housing man with a nod.
He turned
and walked off, and I was left with a cold sense of dread that whoever applied
to live with me would turn out to be a slob, or a drum major, or the worst of
the worst—a jock! I wasn’t looking forward to it.
So, I made a
flyer.
Male roommate wanted to share a two-bedroom
apartment off campus. Must be clean, friendly, quiet, and study-oriented.
Preferably not a freshman. Must love books, games, and spy
movies. To apply call: 717-782-1969 and ask for Cole.
I posted the
flyer all over campus. I thought for sure I’d have loads of inquiries. I was so
dead wrong. During the summer, students went home. During the summer, students
were not thinking of housing unless they were
freshman and didn’t have housing. No
one called except one girl. Did she
not read the flyer? I am not living
with a girl. I had enough of that growing up with an older sister. Still, I was
disappointed. Not even a nibble. Did I come off too controlling on the flyer?
Needless to
say, Stan the housing man came knocking on my door August 15. “Did you find
someone?” Stan asked.
He really
was a great guy; I couldn’t fault him for doing his job. “No,” I huffed,
crossing my arms over my chest in a gesture of aggravation. No matter what, I
wasn’t going to be happy with whoever he picked from his list, so I thought I’d
start off right with full-out petulance.
“Cole, come
on,” he pleaded, trying to coax me to see the bright side. “We’ve known each
other for three years. I think I know you pretty well by now. No one else would
have noticed the lab was painted two shades of gray except you. No one but you
caught the typo on the theater marquee last year. And you are the only I guy I
know who can quote both The Bourne
Identity and P.S. I Love You word
for word.” He lifted his eyebrows and grinned.
I exhaled
noisily. “Fine. Just… don’t pick a jock, okay? You know I’m not good at sports,
and watching football all winter might kill me.”
He chuckled.
“I can’t promise anything. The list is long, and I have to pick someone today.
I have my job instructions too, you know.”
“Okay.”
I shook his
hand, and he left the apartment.
I closed the
door and leaned against it, looking at my little home away from home.
Jon and I
picked out the green sofa the first year. The coffee table was sitting by a
dumpster in town, and he refinished it for me when I said I disliked the color of
the stain. My mom gave us the Oriental rug and the Van Gogh print that hung by
the breakfast bar. We bought the television together, and he said I could keep
it when he moved out. Things would change soon. Maybe the new guy would hate
the dishes or spill sugar on the kitchen floor?
I started to
panic. I was good at working myself into a tizzy. I flattened my body against
the door, closed my eyes, and took deep breaths. I can do this, I can do this, I repeated to myself. Change is good.
Twenty
minutes later I got a call from Stan—he’d found someone.
“Seriously?”
I asked in a higher than normal pitch. I rested one palm on the kitchen counter,
and my wandering eyes noticed a raisin hiding behind the flour bin. What is that doing there?
“Yeah,” Stan
said. “I told you I have a long list.”
I tossed the
raisin in the trash. “Is he a freshman?” He had to be!
“No.”
“Does he
wear Hawaiian shirts?” Why I asked that, I’ll never know—it just slipped out.
“No.”
“Does he
know any three-syllable words?”
“I believe
he does. He’s an English major.”
“Hmm.” I contemplated
the possibility that Stan had picked someone I’d approve of as I strolled into
the living room and sat on my sofa. An English major was promising. “What’s his
name?”
“Ellis.”
“Ellis?” I
know it came out bad, the way I questioned his name, but it wasn’t like I was
talking to Ellis about his unusual
name. I’d never known anyone by that name. Ellis. It sounded nerdy. Maybe I
really would luck out with a great roommate. I did with Jonathan.
Stan then
confirmed the name again as if I wasn’t listening. “Ellis. Don’t worry. I’m
sure he’ll be fine. I spoke to his mother today.”
“His mother?
I thought you said he wasn’t a freshman.”
“He’s not.
He’s a junior, but he’s been commuting from home because housing is so
expensive. This year he sold his car to pay for housing and applied. Listen,
Cole, I got another call coming in. Don’t worry. He’ll work out.”
Sold his
car? That sounds desperate. Then
again, if I still lived with my
parents, I would probably turn desperate too. “Any idea when he’ll be here?”
“Should be
anytime now. He said he was leaving home thirty minutes ago with a buddy.”
“What?” I
panicked, looking around frantically for anything lying on the floor or
inexplicably out of place.
“Good-bye,
Cole.” Stan politely yet abruptly hung up.
A roommate.
He was on his way. I could do this.
Someone
knocked at my door and I jumped.
Shit! I’m not ready yet!
I set the
phone in its cradle on the breakfast bar and walked over to the door. I smelled
my pits—passable. I fingered my hair and gave my body a good wiggle to release
tension right before I took a hold of the handle and reminded myself to
breathe. Everything would be all right. I turned the handle. This was the
moment of truth.
A bright
white smile greeted me as I opened the door. “Hi. My name’s Ellis Montgomery.
Are you Cole? I was told you had a room available.”
I know he
was speaking, but my brain shut off the moment I looked into the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever
seen in my life.
Oh boy, am I in trouble!
You will have to buy the book to read chapter 2 :) muahhahaaaha I'm so evil.
